If you had any desire to see this movie, watch South Park Episode 803, Up the Down Steroid. There are scenes in the movie nearly identical to the South Park Ep. Plus, South Park is 100x funnier. The funniest parts are what they show in the commercials. By Far. And guys (and some of you girls), not one bare breast in the whole thing. Don't waste your time.
Out of Five Special people, I give it One Special Person, since one is the lowest score on my shitty scale of five.
If you had any desire to see this movie, watch South Park Episode 803, Up the Down Steroid. There are scenes in the movie nearly identical to the South Park Ep. Plus, South Park is 100x funnier. The funniest parts are what they show in the commercials. By Far. And guys (and some of you girls), not one bare breast in the whole thing. Don't waste your time.
Jonny and I just got back from this hidden neighborhood brewery Four Peaks Brewery, and now that I'm sufficiently buzzed, I'll regale you all with tales from the last 24 hours in Arizona.
The drive took 5 hours, which is pretty good timing, I hear. NOTHING exciting happened, except we heard the wonders of Howard 100 on Sirius Satellite Radio. Now, I want a Sirius. Once we got to Tempe, we unpacked, and went to Jon's second apartment (long story) in Scottsdale to hang out with Jon's friends John and Greg. We ate pizza and wings, and I experienced the wonders of XBox 360. It's a cool system, but if you don't have it yet, wait for some more games to come out before buying. I played Project Gotham Racing, NBA 2K6, and Tony Hawk's American Wastland (THAW). They're all pretty good, but the developers could use a little more time to perfect graphics and shit. The built-in 4-way wireless controllers and Wi-Fi are slammin', though. Jon, John, & Greg's maltese terrier is pretty awesome, too.
Today, jonn had his Winter class, so I hung out and dedicated a good hour and a half to Knights of the Old Republic II until he got home. Then, off to lunch @ Fuddruckers, and a tour of the area.
Now, we're home, post brewery, cookin' up some spaghetti, then we're back out for more drinkin, and I'm gonna stay the night at Apartment #2, in the unused queen bed Jonny's got.
When I get back, I'll have a chance to upload the pics I've been taking, so you'll all have to wait until Friday to see some of the stuff I've been talking about.
Oh yeah, and before you all ask me, we've had a few visits from this guy already:
By Jeff @ 6:08 PM
Among the nerd/moviephile community, there's a heated debate in regard to actually seeing movies in theaters. The "Theater Experience" is a HUGE part of American Cinema, and there have been times where we've all lined up at midnight, excited as fuck to see Huge Movie Franchise, Part ∏ or Comic Book Superhero Adaptation. Also, there are few that go out of our way to go to theaters that feature all-digital progection, or all-THX screening rooms. Those of us who do such things are, in my eyes, moviephiles. The midnight screenings are awesome, because you and everyone else are there with the same goals in mind: To see this movie and have a good time while you're at it. The last five to ten theater experiences I've had (that I can remember) have involved my being excited about this movie. These aren't midnight experiences, by the way. The motherfucker behind me is talking to his girlfriend, there's a kid eight rows in front of me yelling, talking loudly, and there's just general conversations happening throughout the theater. I like to call this "inconsiderate behavior." This isn't the kind of shit that happens in midnight showings, because everyone expects everyone else to be quiet, and everyone acts in kind. When did this etiquette cease to be commonplace? Everyone I know doesn't talk during movies. And if they do, they whisper. Do you all know what that means? If you know me, then you've got to have the brainpower to know what whispering is. It's italicized for emphasis, people. Whispered emphasis. If I wanted to hear people talk out loud during a movie, I'd invite 15 people over to watch a movie we've all seen 20 times each. For some reason I always expect theater goers to be quiet, and every time I'm disappointed. Like the very foundation of what I hold in faith is shaken to it's very core. I go to the theater because I want to get out of my house and see a movie, but if this is how audienced are going to be, then I might as well forget the whole thing.
I argued at length with an ex of mine a few months back about the theater experience. I was for it. Her, opposed. She said that her and her spouse spent thousands of dollars on home theater equipment (projector, screen, high-end (probably) component surround sound) so they didn't have to watch movies at the theater. I said they were dumb asses. Not only for spending money they don't have on a home theater, but for denying the entire theater-going process. If memory serves, she was pretty firm in her anti-theater stance. I said that they were missing out on movies that were worth seeing in a theater setting. There's nothing worse than people who don't see hot movies, officially place themselves 'behind the times,' wait for the DVD, and expect people to accept them into the loop regarding said movie. It'd be like waiting to see the LOTR trilogy at home, when every other person you know has seen it in the theater. When you want to talk about it, everyone else is done. Burnt out. You've missed the boat, and you're now an asshole. Now, I see the charm watching movies nigh-exclusively at home offers.
With movies coming out on DVD within 3 months of their theatrical release, and bootlegs available for purchase/download at least as early as the theatrical premiers, it becomes less and less prevalent to see films as soon as they come out, or even in the theater at all. Within the next solstice or equinox of a particular release, Best Buy, Costco, Circuit City, and Target will be stocked up their asses with copies upon copies of the latest DVD release that movie studios are destined to pimp with near-religious ferver. And the sooner it comes out, the less the movie is worth time and effort to perform the 3 vital steps to DVD ownership:
How many times have you done this with your copy of Dukes of Hazzard, Ice Princess, or Final Destination 2? Exactly.
There's a buzz about some movies being released over multiple media on it's premier date. In otherwords, your movie of choice is released in theaters, DVD, and Video On Demand PPV on the SAME DAY. In fact, there's a battle being waged between two giants livin' in the hillside about this very subject. M. Night Shyamalan is of the mind that theater-going is vital to the lifeblood of his art, and that he will refuse to make movies if movie companies shoot for a simultaneous multi-platform release.
If you tell audiences there's no difference between a theatrical experience and a DVD, then that's it, game's over, and that whole art form is going to go away slowly. Movies will end up being this esoteric art form, where only singular people will put films out in a small group of theaters.
The other giant, Steven Soderbergh, is for (and under contract to produce) multi-platform released, full length feature movies. In particular, arthouse and Indie films stand to benefit greatly from this type of release. How often has a little independent/foreign movie no one's ever heard of won an armful of awards, and has become intriguing enough to want to see, but by the time your interest is piqued, it's gone from theaters, and almost impossible to find on DVD, and not necessarily worth purchasing for $14.99 if you're only planning on watching it once. With a simultaneous release for Video On Demand, this opens up these little movies to a much broader audience.
Soderbergh said from This Site:
I went to Mark Cuban's 2929 Entertainment - they own a Hi-Definition channel in the States, and they have just bought the largest arthouse theatres in the States, the Landmark Theatres - and I said, 'I think it's time that we put a film out in every format at the same time. I think this is inevitable and I want us to experiment with this idea of not having any hold-back windows for these films. I think the consumer should have that option.'
Soderbergh plans eventually to cut the studios out altogether.
This, he says, is what digital technology can unleash. "You'll see named film-makers self-distributing their own films. That's where this is going to go. If I can go to the bank and get money to make the movie, and in two to four years' time the digital changeover has happened in the US and all the theatres are digitally projecting, I'll just go right to the theatres and make a deal with them. I'm certainly going to pursue that."
So would you support a movie that released simultaneously on multiple media? After after the cumulative total of tonight's experience, along with the last handful of theater experiences, I can answer "YES" wholeheartedly to that question. I'd even invest in a plasma HD television and all the trimmings, just to know the only person spoiling my theater experience is me.
By Jeff @ 8:52 PM
And all through the house,
not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
All the stockings were hung,
By the chimney with care.
In hopes that St. Nicholas,
would soon be there.
And I've got wrapping to do. I got a little dough, and managed to figure out what to get for Dad, and he hooked it up for me for Mom this year. Jonny's gonna have to wait until next week, then I'll help him deck the shit out of his new room. Otherwise, I'm here tonight, chillin'. I might practice, I'll probably read comics. There's a slim chance I might fire up the ol PS2 or GameCube, but lets not count our presents before they're hatched. Hope you all are having a Christmas Eve that's as easy as mine, and Mazel Tov to all of you if yours is more exciting.
Tomorrow morning, the circus begins here. Contrary to popular belief, as Jewish as I am, I LOVE Christmas, and we celebrate it at the Long household with great enthusiasm. Besides, my Dad's not Jewish. We'll exchange gifts, then the cooking begins. We always have a shitload of people over, so it's always nice, and there's always a ton of food and drink. Jon's gonna bartend this year. He just has to get his game on, or else it's me doing the bartending duties. We will also be celebrating Chanukkah tomorrow night, by the way.
Hope you all were good this year, and that Santa brings you all your Holiday wishes. For all you assholes and pricks of 2005 who read this, watch out for this guy...
Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Good Night.
Oh yeah, if you're looking for something to do after you have dinner, come on over to my place. There's plenty of booze, and my family is pretty fun. Just be sure to gimme a call before you come over.
By Jeff @ 7:50 PM
Eric blogged about this two weeks ago, but I don't know how many of you make your way over to his neck of the woods yet, so it's my turn to share.
There's a program called JET where if you have a BA, you can go to Japan (and possibly other countries) and teach English to 12 to 15 year old students, with no prior knowledge of Japanese culture of language. I think you're under contract for a year at a time, and you make $30K-$35K a year, but out of your $30K, you pay all your living expenses, food, etc. Anyway, there's this dude from San Francisco who's on his third year of teaching English, and he's chronicled his time there in journal form. I'd call it a blog, but it's a little more formal than your standard blog, so I'll give it a little respect. The gentleman in question goes by "Azrael," and though his real name pops up every now and again, I'll let you discover it. I've read through the entirety of his entries, up to the most recent, Dec 22, 2005. If you've ever wondered what a 6'3", 200 lb. Black Man might go through if he moved to J-pan to teach English to hormonally raging preteens, go no further. Hilarity ensues. The man has a lot to say, and is quite the storyteller. I've found myself laughing out loud several times, to the point of not being able to continue reading until I've regained composure. I'm sure there's a ton of other stuff on his site, but I've only really looked at his I Am A Japanese School Teacher. Give it some time if you got some free. It's well worth it.
By Jeff @ 1:30 PM
I don't normally talk about specific comics here (besides Ex, Y, & Runaways), but I can't resist for this one.
Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk #1 came out Wendesday, and though it was very hyped in the comics world (written by Damon Lindelof, writer of a little show called Lost), the first issue is incredible.
If you're not ready for geek mode, stop reading right now.
In The Ultimates, Bruce Banner (vegetarian) creates the Hulk formula while trying to recreate the Captain America Super-soldier serum. Thinking he got the recipe right, he tests it on himself, with... unintended results. Let loose in Manhattan, The Hulk goes on a killing spree and kills 800 people. Eats a few of them, too, including Freddie Prinze Jr. Well, he changes back into Bruce Banner at some point, and gets caught. In lieu of a cure, or supervillian prison, they knock him out, ship his ass out on an aircraft carrier to the middle of the Atlantic, and drop an atomic bomb on him. No muss, no fuss. Well, the last panel of the issue is Banner's eye, with bright green iris, wide open. Which leads the reader to believe Banner/Hulk survived.
This brings us to UWvsH. The US government sends their #1 killing machine to find and kill the Hulk. Pretty simple, right? Take a look at my new favorite splash page in comics, ever, PAGES TWO & THREE of issue one:
Lindelof's turned the book on it's head before it's hardly started. I still get chills looking at the page, and I've seen it dozens of times. The best splash in comics right now. If you buy comics, buy this one. If you happen to see it in Borders, give it a read. If you don't read comics, but are curious, this is one to keep an eye on. There's 5 more issues to go, by the way.
And no, Wolverine can't just grow new legs.
By Jeff @ 1:45 AM
[Dave Chappelle] knew that at the same time he was signing his record-setting deal, there was a secret cabal of powerful African-American leaders from the business, political, and entertainment industries working together to ensure that the third season of Chappelle's Show would never happen.
The conspiracy theory for why Chappelle's Show, Season 3 hasn't aired yet. I dunno how long this site's been up, but it's sure educational. Chapppelle fans owe themselves a chance to read this quasi-factual documentation.
The Chappelle Theory
By Jeff @ 9:02 PM
Yesterday ended up being a long day, even though I woke up late, and went to work even later. I did a little contruction, then after the sun went down, we had to do a little secret work for Dave, which pretty much was moving a bunch of crap out of storage, onto palates, and back into different storage. We were there until 1030pm. Then, we went to Steamers, where Ryan was on stage behind a vocalist. The guy was pretty good, though a little too engaging. He kept looking at me. I could be paranoid, but I'm not down with eye contact from guys I don't know. Well, really I'm not down with guys making long-term eye contact with me. That's gay stuff. Anyway, I digress. A couple beers later, it was 1 am, and Eric and I were out of there. Took him home, I came home, and found an email (myspace message) from the girl who I thought had a crush on me. [paraphrases to follow]
The first message she sent last friday was friendly enough. Hey, remember me. You're cool. Thanks for not getting me in trouble. Add me. That's a pretty succinct synposis. Well, I'm a guy. And the way male humans work, if you ignore something, it goes away. So I tried the best I could to not respond or show any sign of interest/concern/attention to this girl.
Well, yesterday I get a message more along the lines of Jeff. Why haven't you added me yet? I might be young, but I'm not stupid. I know you're ignoring me. Actually, forget it, don't bother replying. I don't want to talk to you, anyway.
So I replied with as pragmatic an email as I could. Look, don't take it personally that I haven't added you. I am a professional, and myspace is personal. I don't intend to mix my professional life with personal. If you see me on campus, we can discuss this. Otherwise, please understand that I won't be adding you to my friends list. Also, It's Mr. Long, not Jeff
She replied today saying she understands my perspective. Megan thinks I should be going to the counselor or principal of her school, and making them aware of the situation. I think I'll do that tomorrow, since it's 6pm already.
By Jeff @ 6:05 PM
I just found out that my State issued paycheck for substitute teaching won't come until January 3rd. Anyone expecting gifts is gonna have to wait until my car payment is made on December 25th, and my other, less important bills are current before I even think of Christmas presents. I hate to do this to everyone, but I am effectively screwed two weeks longer than previously thought.
By Jeff @ 1:34 PM
it's late, I'm tired. I want to blog, cause I have a lot to talk about. I'm not going to yet, but maybe tomorrow. I think one of the student's from last week's fiasco is crushin' on ol' Mr. Long, and I took decisive action to try to stop the shit before she gets all Looney Tunes on me. I've been thinking on this for the last hour or so, and now I just want to go to bed. More to come tomorrow. I swear.
By Jeff @ 2:33 AM
The ever-impressive Barbie has taken it upon herself to make some awesome Christmas presents this year. Chocolates. Truffles, to be specific. I tasted 'em in the melted chocolate stage. Mmm... melted chocolate... I asked her if I could add Gummi Bears to the recipe. She said no.
I'm here in bed, just returned from a wonderful weekend with Barb. A weekend of staying up late. Then I get home and prepare to face the work week. Every Sunday night, around Midnight, I go through this internal debate:
Shit! Stroker & Hoop is coming on in 30 minutes, and it's a new one.
What to do, what to do...
By Jeff @ 11:43 PM
With your host, Jeff Long.
Welcome, and thanks for stopping by. Today, I'll be your guide through the magical voyage of "Learning Lessons The Hard Way."
Last night, I went to Barb's, which is where I am now. I brought a wonderful $40 bottle of wine with me, as a 'Christmas Present' to the both of us, which we were both looking very forward to sharing. Ruffino Ducale Reserve, 1997. Bought at Pavillions last week. Every fiber in my being told me not to spend $40 on one bottle of wine at the Supermarket, but I somehow managed to convince myself that it was ok. We opened it, poured it onto Barb's decanter, and let it breathe. I poured a taste, and was dismayed at the $40 bottle of vinegar I ended up buying. The DOCG would've shit it's collective pants.
Don't waste your time or money buying expensive bottles of wine at the store. Especially ones that are 8 years old. Supermarkets aren't equipped to store wine properly for extended periods of time. Go to wine stores (like The Wine Exchange, on Tustin and Heim in Orange, near the former Orange Mall), or at LEAST a BevMo, who also know what they're doing when it comes to vino.
(This actually took place before lesson one) When you pick up a take-out order from a place that promises "free 15 minute Valet parking" with your order, be sure to tell the valet your intentions. I argued with the head valet for 5 minutes before I was forced to pay $6 for 5 minutes (not including the 5 spent arguing) of valet parking. He told me I should've known, and I said "that's bullshit!"
I know it's really pretentious (and Southern Californian) to complain about problems with valet parking and wine, but these things really pissed me off last night. I used every zen-power I had to not have road rage on the drive home. We ended up having a nice time, after the wine fiasco, cause we had a reserve bottle of Kendall Jackson Zinfandel in the wings. And KJ's always dependable. I might chose somethng different than zinfandel next time, but the wine was good.
By Jeff @ 10:53 AM
40 Random Stupid Questions, stolen from Barb, who stole 'em from Ben.
1. Do you like chinese food?
2. How big is your bed?
3. Is your room clean? Organized?
4. Laptop or Desktop computer?
5. Favorite comedian?
6. Do you smoke?
7. Sleep with or without clothes on?
8. Who sleeps with you every night?
9. Do long distance relationships work?
10. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
11. Pancakes or French Toast?
12. Do you like coffee?
13. How do you like your eggs?
14. Do you believe in astrology?
15. Last person you talked to on the phone?
16. Last person on your missed call list?
17. What was the last text message you received?
18. McDonalds or Burger King?
19. Number of pillows?
20. What are you hearing right now?
21. Pick a lyric, any lyric or song.
22. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?
23. Can you play pool?
24. Do you know how to swim?
25. Favorite ice cream?
26. Do you like maps?
27. Tell me a random fact:
28. Ever play spin the bottle?
29. Ever attend a theme party?
30. What is your favorite season?
31. Favorite quote?
33. Last time you laughed at something stupid?
34. What time did you wake up this morning?
35. Best thing about winter?
36. Last time a cop gave you a ticket?
37. Name of your first pet?
38. Do you think pirates are cool or overrated?
39. What do you do on weekdays?
39. What are you doing this weekend?
40. Are You desperate for anything right now?
By Jeff @ 10:08 AM
In my everlasting quest to pimp the awesome, and for all of you that took my word on Y the Last Man #1, I've added another freebie to the sidebar.
Ex Machina #1. In New York City, the World's first "superhero" decides that he could make more of a difference if he ran for public office. More specifically, he runs and becomes the post-September 11th mayor of New York. If you were worried about spoilers, don't fret. You find this out within the first page or two. Written by the funny book writer I dig the most right now, Brian K. Vaughan, and penciled by the incredible Tony Harris. If you took a chance on Y, take a chance on this one. You won't be sorry.
Click here to download. For Free. You Bastard.
By Jeff @ 7:51 PM
1. If you say "What the Hell?!" in front of 12 and 13 year-olds, they will have a shit fit and threaten to "tell on you."
2. Any amount of yelling to maintain order does nothing. Passing out detentions like candy works marginally better.
3. Don't tell twelve and thirteen year old girls that you're on MySpace if they ask you.
4. Don't tell twelve thirteen year old girls your first name (see #3 for 'why').
5. MySpace bridges the generation gap. My 12 year old students are on it, near everyone I know is on it, and I was just added by tragically hip 29 y/o comic writer Brian K. Vaughan.
(BKV if you are crazy enough to read my blog, I want you to know you'll always be 8th of the Top Eight in the MySpace of My Heart).
The teacher I was in for today is a pushover with his students. I just figured they were misbehaved with me, but no. He doesn't maintain control of his class. He left me a stupid ass worksheet that the kids finished in 20 minutes of a 48 minute class period. So 6 times today (I was in for 6 periods), 20 minutes into class, this dialogue takes place:
"Mr. Long, I'm finished with the worksheet. What do I do now?"
"Um... did you do both sides of it?"
"Uh oh, I'm out of plans! Fuck!"
Okay, I didn't really say that last part. But that's what happened every time today. And I would've liked them to sit quietly, but asking 13 year old boys and girls to sit quietly is like asking 13 year old boys and girls to stop jerking off. It's never gonna happen. And there you are, holding one towel for 38 students to share. Figuratively. So I spent the majority of my wonderful day yelling at slackers, telling preteen girls why they shouldn't fight one another and why they shouldn't call other girls 'sluts', pleading with the next period to not be like the last period, and being an asshole.
I just received a message from one of the 7th grade kids I had today. Her MySpace profile says she's 27... what has become of the youth of America? I blame Paris Hilton.
By Jeff @ 7:30 PM
It's worth a watch. Comedy Central, bitches. William Shatner as Satan. Who looks as awful lot like Harvey Keitel in the Devil get-up. Lewis Black never disappoints, David Cross knows how to "Git-R-Done," and Sarah Silverman has more talent in her pussy and asshole than most people do in their whole bodies. They also show a montage of Chappelle's Show Season 3, which I'm once again stoked for.
By Jeff @ 11:17 PM
If only I could place my hands on my hips and shake my head at my own sense of guilt, like so much 70s sitcom.
I'm perusing myspace today, and became curious about who was on there from high school that I might've been friends with. I found the page of a guy who I was close friends with in like 6th grade, and then more like acquaintances with in HS. I saw his name, and instantly felt guilty, cause I used to call the guy a 'fag' in my less enightened days. And this was cause I thought he was homosexual (not how I'd call Ryan a 'fag' for beating my Ace high straight with a flush on the river. That motherfucker), and I was intolerant of that type of shit as an insecure 15/16 year old. I've harbored this guilt over it for ten years, and I've wanted to apologize, and if I ever were to see the guy, I would try to make my peace. Well, I take a look at his blog, and guess what? He's gay. All this guilt I've had for all these years, and it was all for naught. I know that doesn't negate any stupid behavior of mine in the past. I just figure that's the special kind of irony my life is subject to. Being guilt ridden for something that's probably inconsequential in the long run in the other person's eyes.
Well, in case you stumble upon the House of X, Adam W., like I stumbled on your blog, I'd like to take this moment to atone.
Jesus, aren't well-timed boner jokes funny?
By Jeff @ 10:10 PM
Until we reach 5000! Five thousand hits (since February?), 13 months, and one moniker change later, House Of X is still going strong. Thanks, all, who keep watching my self-depricating sense of humor, and tune in for my uninformed social commentary. But ponder this. I'd be even more boring if I didn't have this catharsis every day or so to sieve out all the bullshit that collects in my brain.
EDITED TO ADD:
I apparently can't read Arabic numerals late at night.
By Jeff @ 12:01 AM
Garlic & Herb Feta
Kraft Powdered Parmesan
All of that shit, and not one motherfucking wedge of Parmesan in the entirety of Vons.
I'm not picky. I've just discovered the wonders of cooking and eating freshly grated parmesan. This is after spending 25 years with only the Kraft powdered garbage bullshit variety. I'm on a huge cooking kick lately. Ask Barb. I mean, I've always enjoyed cooking. And I'm not afraid to take a few risks at the stove. Especially when I know it's gonna turn out pretty well. I just don't cook very often. Living at home isn't very conducive to cooking what and whenever you want. Well, a profound lack of money has the same effect. I've been addicted to shows like Iron Chef and Jamie Oliver's two shows, The Naked Chef and Oliver's Twist. I've even started watching Emeril Live again. I'm inspired. Just ask my lovely counterpart how last Saturday's dinner turned out. Suffice it so say, I'm a hit in the kitchen. I tried recreating the wonderful meal tonight, and it was good. A little too garlicky, but otherwise OK.
Now I'm up in the tower, finishing my bottle of mediocre 2003 Hess Select Cab. I know! I'm sorry. The price was right. Can't a motherfucker spend $12 on a bottle of wine? I mad up for it. There was a bottle of '97 Ruffino Reserve Chianti I bought for Miss Noren and myself. When we throw our Christmas Party. By invitation only. There's a strict dress code, too. Bah-dump bump.
Thank You & G'night.
By Jeff @ 10:51 PM
You might want to wait to read this.
My mom had new Christmas stockings made up for everyone, since we've used the same ones since I was born. And admittedly, they're a little worn. Last year, she said she was thinking about having nice custom stockings made up, and I said if she does, she has to get me a Hanukkah themed stocking made up. Well, she did. And it's awesome.
By Jeff @ 10:25 PM
I didn't get a school call this morning, partly to my dismay. I never know what I'm gonna be doing until I wake up. If I wake up at 530 from a phone call, then I know what to expect. If I can sleep in until 830 (which isn't very much 'sleeping in' at all), then I'm usually off the hook. Today's a good day to be free, anyway, since I have lessons tonight (and every Thursday night), and I've played Ø times since my Saturday lessons. So now that longtones and lip slurs are out of the way, I just need to deliberate on what to do next. There's a list of about 12 different things I need to work on, but it's really not practical for me to burn my chops up half way into practicing. Especially with students tonight. We're talking 3 hours into like 5 possible practice hours here (and my students have trouble with an hour a week). I need to do x2 & x3 tonguing, etudes, ii-V7 & iii-VI7-ii-V7 patterns, and learn a tune (or two) along with chord changes. And I know I'll be burnt up after two-fives. I need to start taking lessons again. Like one a month, at least. Just for a little direction.
By Jeff @ 11:44 AM
Ladies and Gentlemen, if any of you make your way to the drive-thru, it is your duty to close the distance to the person in front of you. None of this car length bullshit. At least not if the drive-thru is packed. If it's only a few cars, then just make sure the person behind you can get to the box. Dammit. And I bet people that make problems in the drive-thru are the same people that drive 65 in the fast lane and think that's ok. Motherfuckers.
By Jeff @ 11:26 PM
I meant X3. As in X-Men 3. As in coming out in 6 and a half months, X-Men 3. A slew of new mutants and characters featured in this one. Including Angel, Colossus, Madrox (whom too few of you know), and the one I'm looking most forward to, Beast. Played by Kelsey Grammer. The teaser trailer is up, and looks fucking sweet. Take a look:
Right Here, Baby
By Jeff @ 8:40 PM
It's incredible, the difference in children's behavior, over a small amount of geographic distance. For example, I've been to 3 middle schools within, say, 5 miles of one another. And the school I've been to the most, has a few bastards, but a lot of the kids still seem... pretty innocent. More innocent than average 12 year olds, I guess. Like, there are those that act up, but I can usually get the better of them with a few threats, and a raise of the voice. Last Friday, my bad classes were full of terrible, disrespectful motherfuckers. No amount of threats or shouting had any effect. Today, the kids I taught were very receptine to someone who treated them less like little kids, and with a little more respect. I was able to keep 5 of my 6 classes under control (the one I had trouble with was a behavior risk/US history for ESL kids class). I told everyone today that Mr. Long's only rule today is to keep the noise level down, and the kids managed to respect that, with a few loud reminders from the new sub. "The last thing I want is for you guys to leave class and say, 'God! Mr. Long sucks!' I'd hate to be 'the mean sub,' so if you guys respect my rules, I'll respect you." That went over pretty well.
I helped them with their independent classwork whenever I could. When they were working today, one of my kids asked what RSVP meant (which had nothing to do with the assignment), and I said I had no idea. I hope we all learned something today. Except Ryan, who more than likely knows what RSVP stands for without my interaction.
By Jeff @ 10:25 PM
I've been stealing a ton of links from other people lately, and this one's no exception.
Click this link, type in what you like, and it chooses similar things you might enjoy, based on your selection. I've played with it, but not to a huge extent, since I just discovered it. Have fun, all. Link to follow in the sidebar.
By Jeff @ 6:57 PM
One guy said something, the other guy rebutts, and back and forth we go. Redneck comedy fucking sucks. Sorry guys. Well, it pales in comparison to David Cross. Take a look at Cross' Open Letter to Mr. The-Cable-Guy.
SO, I went and got your book, "Gitting-R-Donned", and excitedly skimmed past the joke about that one time you farted and something farty happened, on past the thing about the fat girl who farted and finally found it, . Well, needless to say I farted. I farted up a fartstorm right there in the Flyin' J Travel Center. I fartingly bought the book and took it home with an excitement I haven't experienced since I got Bertha Chudfarter's Grandma drunk and she took her teeth out and blew me as I was finger banging her while wearing a Jesus sock puppet in the back of the boiler room at The Church of the Redeemer off I-20 (I don't care who you are, that's funny.)
You took umbrage at my calling a lot of your act anti-gay and racist and said that "...according to Cross and the politically correct police, any white comedians who mention the word 'black' or say something humorous but faintly negative about any race are racists."
Well, first of all, your act is racist. Maybe not all the time, but it certainly can be. Here, let me quote you back, word for word, some of your "faintly negative" humor and I'll let people judge for themselves.
Re: Abu Ghraib Torture -
"Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something!"
Cross writes an extremely funny and compelling (yet loooooong) letter, but if you've got the time, it's worth a read.
David Cross' "AN OPEN LETTER TO LARRY THE CABLE GUY"
By Jeff @ 9:56 PM
When my grandmother died in 1998, none of us inherited much. Plus, she had no Last Will & Testament. She lived well, but was by no means rich. After her death, we got the chance to go through her things, and decide, calmly and rationally, what our inheritance was gonna be. I chose (or was given by my Mom and Uncles), among other sentimental things, a gold pocket watch and a Violin. A few year ago, I had the violin repaired, and the woman that fixed it told me the violin was made in Hamm, Germany with a unique dark wood, and it pre-dates the American Civil War. She never appraised it for me, but in retrospect, it's probably better that I don't know. The gold pocketwatch, I never gave much thought to. All I knew was that it worked when I got it. I played with it, and put it in a slight state of disrepair, but somehow managed to fix the damage, though I never gave much thought to it's age or possible value. This morning, I found a site with comprehensive serial number records for this particular watchmaker, all the way back to 1867.
This 14K Gold watch was one of 1000 of this style made in 1882. I was pretty surprised to find that out, since no one in my family really had any knowledge about it. Now, I just need to find out who used to wear it, so I can gauge it's ownership in my family.
By Jeff @ 9:40 AM
Founder of The Los Angeles Crips (a gang, whitey) is 13 days away from his execution.
Stan "Tookie" Williams, nominated NINE times for the Nobel Prize (Five times Nobel Peace Prize Nominee, and Four times Nobel Literature Prize Nominee), is currently incarcerated in San Quentin, for the alleged murder of 4 people, and has been locked up since '81. He admits his guilt for nefarious doings as a gang leader, but he claims innocence for the four homicides, but hasn't been allowed an appeal to investigate the alleged racism employeed by the prosecution in his case. He's devoted his time in jail to doing whatever he can to stop kids from following in his path, writing childrens books (and donating all proceeds to charity), and speaking out against gang violence and gang life. Here's a little bit more about him and his situation, found at savetookie.org
Stan was the co-founder in 1971 of the Los Angeles Crips gang. In 1981 he was convicted of murdering four people during two robberies and sentenced to death row at San Quentin State Prison. Stan deeply regrets his gang involvement but has always maintained his innocence of these crimes.
His trial was based on circumstantial evidence and the testimony of several witnesses, all of whom were facing a range of felony charges, including fraud, rape, murder and mutilation. Even the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals stated in a September 10, 2002, ruling that the witnesses in Stan’s case had “less-than-clean backgrounds and incentives to lie in order to obtain leniency from the state in either charging or sentencing.”
The U.S. Supreme Court has now rejected Tookie's appeal to investigate the racism and discrimination at the heart of his case, as well as Tookie's innocence issues. One issue highlighted the fact that the prosecutor in Tookie's original case removed three African-American jurors from the jury. During Stan's trial, this prosecutor made racially-coded remarks during his closing argument, comparing Stan during the trial to a Bengal tiger in the zoo and stating that a black community - South Central Los Angeles - was equivalent to the natural "habitat" of a Bengal Tiger.
Take a look, form your opinions. I thought this might be good to talk about before his execution date, so you can all be well-informed.
By Jeff @ 11:32 PM
On Monday, I established this maxim for one class, and it has since become the axiom for every class. I tell the kids that as long as they play it cool, I have no problems. That means no talking while I'm talking, no disturbing others, keeping the noise level down. Pretty easy to follow, right? It seems to be working on 'em. The kids have really taken a shining to me, which is great, cause I thought they'd eat me alive, initially. I've been really laid back, which I think most kids don't expect from subs. But as many of you know, I can turn the "mean" on when I need to. Some boys think it's funny during attendance, to respond with "here, Dawg," so I'll throw it back at 'em, "Thanks, Daawwwwggggg." And that usually ends that. One kid kept calling me "partner," and after the third time, I said in front of the whole class: "That's the LAST time you call me 'partner,' or any other little nickname. The only thing you're allowed to call me is "Mister Long." If I hear anything else, you're in trouble. Am I clear?" That freaked the kids out. Another girl would snidely answer other people's questions out of the side of her mouth. "I don't need an answer from you every time I ask a question. I don't want to hear an answer out of you unless I ask you first." That got 'em, too. I throw these lightning bolts of authority at 'em every now and again, and it always catches them off guard. I'll make them write their names on the board if they cause problems (and subsequent check-marks if necessary, and let the teacher discipline as he/she sees fit. My grand scheme has worked, thus far.
By Jeff @ 8:16 PM
My oldest pal, Eric, whom the vast majority of you know as "the quiet guy" has started his own blog.
I have huge faith in this blog, so give him some traffic.
Also, once you get to know him, he's definitely not "the quiet guy."
Edited to Add: There's a link over on the right. Just right over there. See it? I know it's kind of intimidating, but don't be afraid. Touch it.
By Jeff @ 11:44 PM
So after a beer, milk & Baileys, and Family Guy DVDs, I finally got to sleep around 2 am. At 430a, I wake up, with my ass telling me to get to the bathroom, or else there's gonna be dire consequences. Back to bed at 445a. I got up at 530, and went right into the shower. I hope I don't have to do shit for 0 Period Marching Band this morning.
By Jeff @ 6:27 AM
At 945p tonight, I was dozing. IM didn't keep my attention, neither did American Dad, so I dozed off. Maybe for 15 minutes. Then I remembered that I have to sub in the morning for 0 Period Marching Band at Esperanza HS @ 655a. I got up, ironed a shirt for tomorrow, got pants ready, and back to bed. I think I talked with Barb until 11p or so, when we both were feeling really tired, and signed off. Now, it's 1219, and I can't go to sleep to save my life. I've got Hellboy on, and that usually does a good job of knocking me out. I'm 20 minutes into it, to no avail. I've eaten Turkey for my last two meals, and they tryptophane (or whatever the fuck) has worn off, I guess. I'm too tired to rub one out, so I'm hoping a Corona does the trick. I was gonna pound the whole thing, but I wanted to drink while blogging, so I've slowed my own progress down. Fucking insomnia. I hope I don't need a second, cause if I do, I'm screwed for waking up at 530a, which is in about 5 hours. Also, I've had no caffeine today, three fun sized candies (two Milky Way and a twix), and a shitload of bread and turkey. To add to my misery, my sore throat has turned into congestion and sneezing. Joy of joys. At least the sore throat is gone. Until the morning. With 2 oz of "La Cerveza Mas Fina" left, I'm back to bed. If this doesn't work, then at 1 am, it's warm milk with Kahlua, or Baileys if we have it. Or both. I hope you all are sleeping well. Someone needs to.
By Jeff @ 12:27 AM
Thanksgiving started at around 330 on Thursday, when we went to Mike & Wendy's house, who live in a palace in Manhattan Beach. This is where we've gone every year for something like the last 5 years (there are pictures of their place in last Thanksgiving's blog). Everyone's so awesome there. The food was plentiful, delicious, and of course, filling. We're so lucky they do a huge thing every year.
Afterwards, we went to my parents' friends' house in Huntington Beach. This was a fucking waste of time. We had to go cause they bought a fucking chocolate fountain and we had to pay homage to it. There were people there my age, but they weren't very social. And you all know me, I'm one to not just sit there and not get talked to, but I was on ignore for the hour of so we were there. And somehow, between Manhattan Beach and Huntington Beach, I developed a sore throat that I'm still trying to shake two days later. Oh yeah, and I have no medical insurance.
Friday, I didn't do much. I hung out here, and went for some pho, and practiced a little. Then, Shabbos dinner at my Uncle Brad's. It was great to see everyone two nights in a row. I got a chance to play a little Ms. Pac Man (on an original 1980's machine (bought new in the 80's, btw)) with my cousin Dana, who lives in Oregon, and who I hardly ever see. Have you ever had anyone in your extended family who, as you get older, you relate more and more to? Dana's like that for me. She's my first cousin, and 6 years older than I am, and I think if we lived closer, she'd almost be like an older sister for me. But I digress... I had another huge dinner, and I ended up staying over cause it's awesome being around my little cousins, and they like having someone who's not an old man around. This morning, I got up, and had some tea and filled up on Persian (Sephardic) pastries. Lunch, when it came around, was another huge meal. Then, full as shit, I drove home. To help my mom prep for our Thanksgiving. My mom has always done a Thanksgiving for the 4 of us the weekend after Thanksgiving, cause it's nice, and we get to have leftovers. So I just finished my 4th huge meal in a row. I'm beat, stuffed to the top, but the throat hurts still, so I'm in tonight.
By Jeff @ 10:32 PM
It's 12:51 on Thanksgiving Thursday. Much to my chagrin, I've been up for about an hour, but it's all good. Pretty soon, here, it's off to Manahattan Beach for a great, huge family Thanksgiving Event.
Happy Thanksgiving to All! Hope yours is as good, or better, than mine will be. And mine is gonna be pretty fucking good.
By Jeff @ 12:51 PM
I know a lot of us want to spend a little time in the Land of the Rising Sun. Here's an interesing article for anyone actually intending to do so:
The 'IC you' Card
The 'IC you' card
Computer-chip card proposals for foreigners has big potential for abuse,
By DEBITO ARUDOU
People are still reeling from September's LDP landslide election, realizing that Koizumi can essentially legislate whatever he wants.
For foreigners, that brings some bad news.
One of Koizumi's platforms is economic recovery through tourism and increased contact with outsiders ("Yokoso Japan") yet his administration can't shake its preconception of foreigners as potential terrorists and criminals.
Koizumi's previous Cabinet bore no fewer than three ministers who mentioned, in their introductory speeches, the alleged foreign crime wave (even though the media, including this column on Oct. 7, 2003, has long debunked this).
In December 2004, the Cabinet released its "Action Plan for Pre-Empting Terrorism," explicitly stating the terrorists to be targeted are essentially foreigners (Community Page; May 24, 2005).
Now Koizumi the tour guide wants to institute high-tech tracking of every foreigner he invites.
On June 16, the LDP's Political Affairs Research Committee ("seimu chousakai") issued their "Proposal for a New Immigration Control Policy" ("arata na nyuukoku kanri shisaku e no teigen").
Their plan: Issue "IC Cards," or credit card-sized identification cards, containing computer chips to track people.
One form of IC card (the "shutsu nyuu koku" card) will be issued to anyone (Japanese or not) crossing the Japanese border, upon request and at their expense.
The other, the "zairyuu card," is obligatory and replaces the Gaijin Card. All resident aliens (except the generational "Zainichi" ethnic "foreigners," who remain unchipped) must still carry it 24/7 or face arrest.
This "Gaijin Chip" will contain data such as: "name, nationality, birthday, passport information, visa status, address, workplace, educational institution if student etc."
Fingerprints will also be encoded "if the person wants." But just in case, fingerprinting will be reinstated to imprint foreigners both entering and leaving the country.
The article continues from there.
Isn't it good to know that the good ol' U.S. of A. isn't the only place stripping the populace of human rights?
By Jeff @ 9:25 PM
Apparently the scripts for eps 10 and 11 are being worked on, with the previous 9 in the can. Scripts 12 and 13 are left. I'm so stoked!
More can be found here, at Publick Nuisance
Also, as of today, there's 111 Days and some spare change left until the DVD comes out.
A Countdown can be found here, at The Mantis-Eye Experiment
By Jeff @ 6:09 PM
So I got the call last night to cover for a First Grade class. No problem, right? Wrong. As nice as the kids were, they all needed constant attention. And you forget just how helpless kids are at that age. 18 sweet as can be kids plus one autistic kid, but the few times I had to split them into groups, neither they, nor I couldn't accomplish anything. Four groups of kids, all needing constant group and individual help. It's just funny to see how nice these kids are at this age, yet in a few years, they'll grow up to be jaded, mean sons of bitches.
By Jeff @ 4:40 PM
A lot has happened in the last week, and I've blogged none of it. Sorry guys. I'm a sub now, and had my first two days last week. I had dinner with Antonio on Wednesday, and had Kobe beef for the first time. I went up to Barb's this weekend and saw some Harry Potter 4 among other things. More to Come...
By Jeff @ 10:06 AM
aka The White Death!
aka Willy Pete!
aka The Scourge of Fallujah!
Story here @ the Moscow Times
Here's an excerpt:
(if you're not looking for a bummer, don't read this)
This week, the broadcast of a shattering new documentary provided fresh confirmation of a gruesome war crime covered by this column nine months ago: the use of chemical weapons by U.S. forces during the frenzied destruction of Fallujah in November 2004.
Using filmed and photographic evidence, eyewitness accounts and the direct testimony of U.S. soldiers who took part in the attacks, the documentary -- "Fallujah: The Hidden Massacre" -- catalogs the American use of white phosphorus shells and a new, "improved" form of napalm that turned human beings into "caramelized" fossils, with their skin dissolved and turned to leather on their bones. The film was produced by RAI, the Italian state network run by a government that backed the war.
Vivid images show civilians, including women and children, who had been burned alive in their homes, even in their beds. This illegal use of chemical weapons -- at the order of the Bushist brass -- and the killing of civilians are confirmed by former U.S. soldiers interviewed on camera. "I heard the order to pay attention because they were going to use white phosphorus on Fallujah," said one soldier, quoted in The Independent. "In military jargon, it's known as Willy Pete. Phosphorus burns bodies; in fact it melts the flesh all the way down to the bone. ... I saw the burned bodies of women and children. Phosphorus explodes and forms a cloud. Anyone within a radius of 150 meters is done for."
By Jeff @ 9:34 AM
Today is the first Birthday of my blog, Diary Of The Last Man!
I M r0xx0rs!
I can't believe I've been able to keep this thing going strong for a year. Thanks to all of you that check this place out regularly, and thanks to all of you nøøbs that've stumbled across this blog. Maybe in the next year, I can get a little more insightful, a little more wise, and a lot funnier.
Next Year in Jerusalem!
And here's my very first post. Lets reminisce, shall we?
My first blog...
By Jeff @ 1:13 PM
Eric and I caught Sarah Silverman's Jesus Is Magic last night, and boy is it fucking funny. This Jewess' movie is worth the trip to your neighborhood indie theater. Or the only theater in your county that's showing it, the University 6 in Irvine, or whatever it's called, across the street from UCI. It's 75-80 minutes of painful laughter, perfect delivery, and surprisingly good 3-part harmony.
By Jeff @ 1:03 PM
Last night, Ryan, Mike Moon, Jason (Ryan's neighbor), and I went to see jazz bassist Ron Carter at Catalina's Bar & Grill. Ron Carter has played with everyone. All the Jazz (and music) greats since the 60's or so, and Carter has been there. I knew the show would be good, but I didn't realize it would be incredible. I'm talking fucking amazing. If any of you have a chance to see Ron Carter, it would be in your best interests to go.
Afterwards, we went back to Jason's for some drinking and a little PS2. I had 2 vodka martinis at Catalinas, and when we got back to Jason's, I was drinking gin martinis. Then ol' Honest Abe shows up, and like a fool, I partake a little more than I should, all the while still drinking my gin. The vodka and gin weren't acting very civilized, then Abraham Lincoln gets in there and starts shit with gin and vodka. And I certainly paid the price. Still paying, actually. I had a burrrito a few minutes ago, and Monty Python's Flying Circus is on, so I'm in good shape. I might go see Sarah Silverman's new movie, Jesus Is Magic today, too. Hopefully I can motivate myself to get out of the house.
By Jeff @ 2:49 PM
This guy declared a Holy War on the State Of Pennsylvania for not electing school board members who supported Intelligent Design. 8 people were rightly denied a chance to directly effect the education of children in their state. For those that forgot,
Intelligent Design = Faith-Based, Creationism in disguise
Where do you get the grapes to call for a disaster to take place in the state of Pennsylvania? When did Jesus, your God, become so vengeful and war-mongering to inspire you to call for holy war against people who think differently than you? Last time I checked, Intelligent Design isn't science, because Intelligent Design isn't fact. Scientific theory is based on FACT, while religious theory is faith-based. Darwin's theories are proven. Use google.com sometime and look it up. Or read a book other than the Christian Bible. In America, our gonvernment was based on a seperation of church and state. It's people like you that are destroying this country for racial and religious minorities. You're ruining this great country for people who believe there's a place for religion, and that place is nowhere near The White House, The House Of Representatives, or Any School Board Assembly in the USA. Try and see just how far gone the Christian Reich has become in this country by living as a non-Christian American for one day. As an American Jew, your actions and opinions scare me to tears.
I really sent this to him, via CBN.com. I'm sure he won't see it. But I did what little I could. It's a symbolic gesture, I guess.
By Jeff @ 12:01 AM
OCRegister.com has results from yesterday's election. All 8 propositions failed, which is 75% what I voted on. I can't complain, overall. Schwarzenegger was defeated. But the reason for my title today is that OC voters, overall, voted the opposite Unions and public employees were pushing for on almost everything. These results can be seen on the Register's site today
73-80: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, No, No, No.
When I was at the smoke shop, with Ryan, a couple of weeks ago, the owner had signs up for "YES on 74 75 76 77" and he and I were both upset at the support for the governor, and not the people, that he, and everyone else there showed. Maybe the prerogatives for businessmen are different than those of the general public. Maybe the California government is in need of change/major change, but at what cost? It's just not right to sacrifice the best interests of the people, just for the sake of change.
By Jeff @ 11:57 AM
I didn't get a call to sub today, so I told Eric that I'd come and do a little work for Dave on days I was available (and felt like it). After a brief practice session this morning, I was off to Dave's business park. I got in at 12, left at 630. A pretty easy day, overall. A lot of mud, a lot of talking. I can't complain. I'm here, now, watching Family Guy, drinking my tea. I should be fast asleep, but I'm not anticipating a sub call tomorrow morning, cause of district-wide parent conferencing. But the tea is doing the trick. Night, kids.
By Jeff @ 11:27 PM
I figure it's early in November, and since everyone is looking to donate to a good cause, I might as well give you all a worthwhile reason to donate.
I'm in the market for a bass trombone and I've found the best one suited to my needs.
Getzen 1062 FDR
This wonderful Eterna Series instrument offers:
-A 0.562"/0.578 Dual-bore hand slide
-A 9 1/2" 23 gauge red brass bell
-Three interchangeable leadpipes
-Dependant F/D Valve set-up with open wrap
This is a professional quality trombone at an intermediate price, and many bone players see it as "the best value for a bass trombone on the market today."
The MSRP for this fantastic instrument is around $2200, but any music shop worth their salt sells their wares below MSRP. I'm looking to buy after the New Year, when the store I plan to buy from restocks their supply of these bass trombones.
We're accepting donations of any denomination from $10 to $1000. Please make your donations to my PayPal account, jeff*at*ebay 'at' gmail*com, or feel free to write a check made out to "CASH." * = .
Thanks for your time, considerations, and eventual donations.
By Jeff @ 10:41 AM
So this week has been pretty eventful. I'm too lucid right now to know if I'm gonna hit everything, but I'll do my best.
Sunday was stogies at Kelly's Mens Shop then a jam with Steve Liu (bass) and this dude, Adam, who plays guitar. The three of us played a few weeks ago, and had a good time, and Adam's pretty serious about wanting to get a band together and start playing/gigging. And I'm pretty serious about getting paid to play the trombone. The guy reminds me of Dave Tibbets, but a little more focused. Plus, this guy's a Grad Student in English at UCI, and wants to try to make it before he has to enter the real world. Sound familiar? In any case, the guy writes some great songs, and the best way I can describe the music is "Folk Funk." That moniker doesn't really do the tunes any justice, but what can you do? We jammed for a solid 3 hours, on his tunes, and a couple tunes Steve wanted to try. Like this Willie Bobo tune called "Fried Neckbones & Some Home Fries." This tune fucking grooves. We even had other people in the practice studio come in with eyes wide open O_O saying how awesome we were. That's always nice. And someone who worked there mistook my playing for singing, which is definitely not a bad thing, either. So Adam's on the look out for a drummer, and Steve's on the look out for a sax or trumpet player, and I'm on the look out for... myself, at this point. I've been told to keep my ears out, but I don't really know that many guys. Especially guys I'd want to play with all the time. And we don't have a band name yet, either. But when we do, watch out!
Monday and Tuesday were pretty simple, aside from the fact that I got no sleep Sunday and Monday nights. Maybe 9 hours in total. Those were two of my last three days at Suzuki, and I managed to dick around and get just enough work done to appease my superiors. Not that fun, but fucking easy. Monday night, I went to Steamers to see a trombone sextet, Slide FX, and to talk to the bandleader and maybe score a gig, or at least a weekly rehearsal. To my surprise, he came up to me, since the recognized me as a bone plaer from someplace We talked for like 20 minutes, and I explained to him I used to be a student of a mutual friend. He seemed excited to meet me, and I gave him my number, and he said he'd give me a ring. We'll see what happens. Tuesday night, I got a text from Barbie saying she wasn't feeling very well, and was feeling pretty out of it, and we both agree that it's a good idea for her not to be alone if she's feeling crappy, so after work, I drove up to her place. It was nice to see her in the middle of the week, despite the circumstances. We had this great Greek food for dinner, and it was damn satisfying. Especially since we watched the new ep of House, MD while we ate. The only downside to my coming up, however, was that I had to be back at work the next morning, for my last day at Suzuki. I went to bed by 1230, and was up by 530. Out of her place by 630.
Traffic.com is a decent website for seeing how much traffic there is out there. But if you're gonna use the site, add at least 30 minutes to how long the stated trip time is. I left for Anaheim, and a quick breakfast at home, at 630, thinking it'd be an hour to get home. After an hour and a half, I ended up going straight to Del Taco in Brea (where Suzuki is). I was good to go after my Steak and Egg Burrito, free hash browns, and a cup of coffee. And I pretty much spent the whole day on message boards, since work was incredibly light. That night, I honestly can't remember what I did. I think I sat around and watched TV. But I really can't remember. I stayed up too late, though. I think 130.
Thursday, I was up at 630 to get ready for my first day of observing my Mom's class to prepare for substitute teaching (hopefully) next week. The kids were ok, and they called me "Mr. Long," which is weird. Especially to hear my mom call me that. But they were responsive. I came home at 230, and I was fucking wiped out, but I managed to make it to my lessons. They were all good, even thought I had two no-shows. But that gave me a chance to practice my double tonguing and scales, and leave early. Win-win. Then, it was off to the Clubhouse, at South Coast Plaza, to watch Ryan's trio play, and to celebrate Jessica's 25th birthday. I got there at 1030, and 3 Belvedere tonics and a tequila shot later, I was out of there. At 1. I made it home, and managed to stay up until 230. Today, I was up at 7, and late to school for my second observation day. I did a little bit more, but still pretty much watched. Now, I'm making plans to grab a little dinner with Chris, and then maybe track down his either flakey as fuck -or- huge gaping asshole new boss.
This weekend promises Harry Potter 4 with Miss Noren, a little fun, and the chance to catch up on sleep. I can't wait!
...ok, I guess blogging cleared me of my lucidity...
By Jeff @ 6:59 PM
So there's an election coming up in here in our lovely state of California. There's a few heated propositions on the chopping block, too. It's interesting looking at these elections from standpoint of a family member for someone who is DIRECTLY affected by these bills. Recent developments might very well make ME a prime candidate to be directly affected by these propositions, by the way. What I don't understand are commercials for these. Now, I usually make my votes based on who supports/opposes the propositions. For example, Prop 74 is supperted by Mostly Newspapers, while it's opposed by Teachers, Firefighters, Police, Unions, Community Leaders, Minority Groups, etc. Needless to say, I'll be vehemently voting "NO" on 74. If the people that are paid to make life better, say "Vote No," then I think I'll be voting with them. All of you Californians should, too. I'll link to some of the against/for for the other Props, but pay attention to 78 & 79.
Prescription drug bills. A vote for one directly affects the other. No on 78 makes sure pharm companies don't have the choice to participate in drug price cuts. They'll have to if Sac-town says so. Yes on 79 makes prescription drugs more affordable for you and I. And the way the votes would work properly is a "No/Yes" or "Yes/No." The people that look out for you (Doctors, Medical Associations, Coalition for Seniors, etc.) support a "No on 78/Yes on 79" stance. The "Yes/No" people are as follows:
Johnson & Johnson, Merck & Co., Inc., Pfizer, Inc., GlaxoSmithKline
Now, who do you think has your best interests in mind?
I'll be voting as such, and if there's any of you that don't intend to vote, please at least vote to support the people who serve, protect, and educate. If you plan to vote against what I'm supporting, please feel free to make your case heard here in the comment section so we can have discourse in regards to why I'm right and you aren't.
No on 74
No on 75
No on 76
No on 77
No on 78
Yes on 79
Yes on 80
Edited to Add on 10/30 @ 1230a
I made a little error in what I said earlier. Thankfully no one said anything. Even the people that gave me kudos for this post. I fixed what needed to be fixed, and thankfully, the links were right. Thanks to all the newcomers that have made their way to my little blog and have enjoyed what you've seen, btw.
By Jeff @ 8:56 PM
I always forget about this, but I've been recently reminded...
For those of you who don't believe me when I say Y the Last Man is the best comic in print, or you forget, or are too motherfucking stupid to spend a little money and take an amazing recommendation from me, here you go!
The Fine people at DC/Vertigo Comics have put the entire amazing first issue, online. And it's FREE!
Enjoy. Oh yeah, the page that link comes from can be found here:
Please write a message with how much you loved the comic and appreciated my philantropic gesture in the tagboard, or just leave a little love in the comment section...
Link to follow in the sidebar...
By Jeff @ 5:46 PM
I'm here in the beautiful barrio of Panorama City with Miss Barbara. We hung out yesterday afternoon, ate a little and all that. Yesterday was also the birthday of Barb's colleague from UCSB, Aldo, so we went up to Santa Barbara for his party. And party, we did. It was a great fucking time. Aldo and his wife, Dijanna, are two of the coolest people, and they have a lot of cool friends. We schmoozed and drank and listened to a lot of salsa music. The only downside was that we left at, like, midnight, which put us home at 130am. I was fucking tired, but I used my "long drive home" CD to make it back. Tenacious D always does the trick.
Today, I got up late, cause I deserved it. Driving to & from Santa Barbara last night, and all. 11am. Barb and I went to a classic LA diner for a late breakfast today: Dupar's. I had the best Corned Beef Hash and eggs! I left with a full stomach and a huge smile. If you're in the valley and want a good breakfast, check it out. After Dupar's, we went to Tower Records, and I spent a shitload of money. I haven't bought CD's in a while, so I went kinda nuts today.:
Buena Vista Social Club
Hecho En Cuba
Jimmy Bosch- Salsa Duro
Willie Colon- Hecho En Puerto Rico
Danger Doom- The Mouse and The Mask
I was looking for some other CDs, but I'm kinda glad I didn't find 'em. These all were like 65 bucks. I did, however buy the latest issue of Heeb
Don't be jealous, gentiles, that Christian magazines are fucking boring...
By Jeff @ 3:20 PM
Yesterday, at 5 (quittin' time), my boss asked me to come in this morning at 7am. I said 'yes.' I came in to help rectify the impossible parking situation by taking inventory of all the Suzukis in the parking lot. I guess departments obtain these cars (test cars, lemon-law cars, etc...) and just leave them in the parking lot once they're done with them. So it was my job to get a list of these cars for my supervisor, so he can get people off their asses. I, smartly, brought coffee with me in a neat-o thermal cup, so I could have some instant warmth at hand. What I not-so-smartly forgot was that when I drink coffee first thing in the morning, I tend to get the ol' explosive diarrhea. Today was a grim reminder. I was at the most outer, farthest parking lot from the men's room when I felt the bubblin'. I won't go into detail, but I can't remember when I've had a closer call. And I hope you all never get as close to driving home in the middle of a work day, as I was. I made it to the men's room, btw. Work was about as good as it has been (and since I've been calling it "My shitty job for queers", that should let you know just how good it is), except I have to come in tomorrow at 730. I, however, will be arriving tomorrow sans café.
I bailed out of work at 430, and went to buy comics. After my purchase, and out of guilt, I went to Kelly's Mens Store (where I played some jazz a few weeks ago w/ Ryan), and had a cigar. On a night I intend to practice, I'm never stopping for such frivolity on a weekday. That's cigars, not comics, people. There's always time for my weeklies.
I decided I'm ready for some imaginary friends. Not made-up ones; established fictional characters, except one. I want to hang with Optimus Prime, Kool-Aid, and Mr. T on a regular basis. I am, in fact, tempted to draw one of my recently trademarked comics of the four of us. I just want to see Mr. T talk some shit to Kool-Aid. I guess I just know what funny is.
The new South Park is on right now, and it's pretty good. But don't tell Kyle. He'll Jew you with his Jew Gold.
By Jeff @ 9:46 PM
Not that anyone has actually said that to me, out loud, I do.
So on my favorite forum, bkv.tv, there's been a lot of talk about blogs and myspace, and all that. I'm gonna start adding people's shit to the sidebar, slowly but surely, Cause, as you call know, I like to pimp people's talents.
Today, I'm gonna give some props to one of the friends I made on bkv.tv, and at Comic Con: Neil Figuracion, otherwise known as Fad23. He writes for a comic review site, Broken Frontier, and has a lot of insightful things to say, comics or otherwise. If you have some time, and want to see what someone outside your immediate blogosphere has to say, check out Fad23 @ MySpace. Link to follow in the sidebar.
You know what, I'm gonna pimp another site from another Caballero(a). RunawaysTheComic.com is the most popular Runaways fansite put together by Mindy @ bkv.tv. If you're into the comic, or looking for some info on one of the best titles in print right now, it's definitely worth hanging out there.
By Jeff @ 10:29 PM
I know a lot of you will appreciate this...
D'oh! Arabized Simpsons
Aren't Getting Many Laughs
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates -- When an Arab satellite TV network, MBC, decided to introduce "The Simpsons" to the Middle East, they knew the family would have to make some fundamental lifestyle changes.
"Omar Shamshoon," as he is called on the show, looks like the same Homer Simpson, but he has given up beer and bacon, which are both against Islam, and he no longer hangs out at "seedy bars with bums and lowlifes." In Arabia, Homer's beer is soda, and his hot dogs are barbequed Egyptian beef sausages. And the donut-shaped snacks he gobbles are the traditional Arab cookies called kahk...
The article continues from there. I LOVE that he's "Omar Shamshoon," and EVERY male I know is now subject to being called that. I also love that he "gobbles kahk." I wish I could speak Arabic just so I could watch all the eps I know and laugh at how shitty they've become with the addition of an Islamic value system. Enjoy!
By Jeff @ 10:31 PM
Thanks to Cesa, aka Violetfury for posting these to MySpace
1. First thing you did this morning: Smiled and sat in bed, since I'm not going to work today.
2. Last thing you ate: A banana, a cup of strawberry yogurt, and a glass of high-pulp OJ, which is pretty close to eating.
3. Is your cell phone a piece of crap? Kinda, kinda not. It takes pics. It's got ADD when it comes to when it wants to answer voicemails and send text messages. I'm due for a new phone, but I'm not under the gun to get one.
4. What's the thing you look forward to most in the next 6 months? MOVING OUT!
5. What's annoying you right now? Your ugly face!... not really. Probably the lack of money/creativity I've been suffering from for a while
6. Whats the last movie you watched? I watched about 30 minutes of Superfly last night at like 2 in the morning. It was pretty good, the little bit I saw, and the Guide gave it 3 stars. I might buy it when I go to Best Buy next week. It was cool to recognize a shitload of lines and music that I've heard out of context.
7. Do you believe in long distance relationships? Yes, for the most part. I've been in one because it's with Barbie's, and she's worth it. If it was anyone else, I'd probably stay local. Anything over 60 miles is too long, though. I'm glad Barb moved closer than Santa Barbara...
8. What's worse?
a)being in love with someone you cant have
b) Pretending to love someone you don't:
B. No Question.
9. Is there someone you miss so much it makes you sad? I miss a lot of people, but maybe not to the point where I become sad. I miss my brother, but I talk to him all the time. It'd be nice to hang with George every now and again, but he's doin' his thing. I'd like to see my Uncles and cousins more often, but it's rough being behind the Orange Curtain sometimes.
10. What inspires you? Not much, nowadays. Friends sometimes do. I get glimmers of inspiration from talking to people, listening to music, reading things. But I live in an inspirational vacuum. If there's any one person that inspires me, it's Kei Akagi.
11. If you could put together a concert of 5 bands or artists, who would you choose?:
1) Jurassic 5
2) The Mars Volta (thanks to Kevin)
4) System of a Down
With an encore by Tenacious D
12. Song that sums up your love life? Destiny, Zero 7. Not to get too deep into titles or anything, I'd like to think this song means a lot to the both of us.
13. Whats the one thing you wish you could do better? Play Trombone!
14. If you could be anywhere this second, where would it be? Tokyo. Or Tel Aviv.
15. What's your most vivid memory from 6th grade? I'm gonna get SO much shit for this, but a friend and I won a middle school So Cal engineering competition for building the best rubber band powered car. We beat out like 15 other groups.
16. Latest addiction? I've been scouring the web for info on bass trombones. I intend to own one in the next 12 months.
17. Have you ever had the slight urge to kill someone? Of course. What man hasn't let their base instincts bubble over just for a second?
18. How many people would you say you were interested in at once? I'm sure there was a time in college where I was into like 5 chicks. Who knows.
19. Who are you in love with? Barbie, duh! And Ryan Rost, apparently.
20. Do you think someone thinks about you daily? Yeah, I'd like to think so. I think about a lot of people during the day. It's a nice thought that you might think about someone at the same time that person thinks about you.
21. Who was the last person you saw or talk to? Eric, at like 1 am, after Kelly's smoke shop.
22. What do you want to be when you grow up? I'd love to play bone for a living, but I'm also heavily considering going into teaching.
23. What is your favorite food? It's between sushi, hamburgers, and anything I make.
24. How many people do you know with the same name as yours? Thankfully not many. Not personally, at least.
25. What was the last thing you spilled? Probably some soda in the car, when turning or stopping too hard.
By Jeff @ 11:33 AM
It's been a while, but I think I have enough to write about tonight. I'm still at my temp gig, and that gets easier, but suckier as the days go by. I'm surrounded by all these bitches. These rude women who sit around and kibbutz all day. I don't know how they get work done. We had to move desks around on Friday, and now, all the broads who yap-yap-yap are all sitting next to each other. It fucking drives me crazy. The woman I sit next to is fucking insane. You know that scene in The Big Lebowski when The Dude goes to Maude's flat and that weird guy it sitting in the chair, giggling and snickering? This is what this woman does all day. She fucking talks to herself loud enough that I think she's talking to me, and I ALWAYS hear "tee hee hee" coming from her desk. It's maddening. I've thought about bringing the ol' iPod to work, but too many people need things from me as the day wears on to warrant blocking everything out. She's incredibly obese, too, and everyday, something comes up why things aren't good cause she can't fit comfortably into things. Like car seats. And narrow spaces. It gets fucking annoying. And I'm no small fry, people. But I don't complain for shit. Except on this website.
Things are ok, otherwise. I'm observing Yom Kippur tomorrow, so I get a chance to rest, reflect, and do a little bit of stuff. I'm not fasting this year, though. Tonight, I'm gonna meet Chris for a smoke, and maybe a little beer. Should be good. Angels lost due to a fucking bullshit call. Sucks to see them not take tonight's game. Hopefully they'll sweep the next 3. I'm out, guys. Time for dinner.
By Jeff @ 8:08 PM
I gotta give thanks out to Jeremy & Bryan, and especially Barbie. I got the hook up this weekend. Bryan had a bunch of shit in Jeremy's parents' storage unit that He and Jeremy were throwing away. One of the things was a TV stand. An official, wooden, with-a-glass-door, 2'x 2'x 3' TV stand.
It's fucking sweet, and now my room is way less uncluttered. The Amazing Barbara helped me like crazy with getting the stuff set up last night, too. I should say, I helped her, cause she was on fire (thx, bbbby!).
Today, Monday, I worked for 6 hours, then had a TB test. Now, I feel like garbage. Not sick, just bummed out, or something like that. I came home after the doc's and I played a little t-bone. Got into it a little with dad (nothing big), and I dunno. I just feel unmotivated tonight. There's usually a poker game atmy friend Chris' house, and I think I'm gonna pass it up. Might attempt (or at least start) a transcription tonight. That, and start to fill out my substitute app. I think the ol' GameCube might get fired up tonight, too. Sooner than later, now that I think about it.
I'm ready for a tattoo. It's something I've had on my mind a lot in the last year or so. And every day that goes by, I think of more and more tattoos I'd get and where I'd get them. My entire left forearm (from the elbow to just before the wrist), right wrist, different places on the right arm, left shoulder and upper back are spoken for, as it were. A lot of Jewish/Hebrew stuff, and a little music stuff, so far. A touch of comics, too. I've been aching for some more comic ideas, especially something with color, but there isn't much I'd commit to just yet, as far as something right off the pages goes. Maybe I'll find an artist(s) I really like, and have him/her draw me up something at Comic Con next summer. I already have one or two (or more) artists in mind, already, which is good... I'd just need to think of what I'd want them to draw that I'd be willing to commit to my body, and where.
Oh yeah, I'm probably gonna go out to the mug tonight. I dont know when. If you wanna go, meet me there.
By Jeff @ 4:45 PM
Last night, I played with Ryan's combo for John Kelly and his attempt to enter SoCal congress. I was only supposed to sit in for a couple of songs, but ended up sitting in for four hours. Which was fucking sweet. All the guys were awesome players. Thanks again, Ryan. But the bonus was that I got paid along with all the other guys. AND it was as much as all the other guys, which was fucking amazing. And if that wasn't enough, John was so happy with everything, that he gave me a $45- pipe when I was leaving. It was surreal.
I've got another temp job in the interim while I get my substitute shit together. I'm working for the American Corporate Headquarters of Suzuki. It's kinda cool. Chill. Boring as fuck, but it's brainless, so far.
Tonight, I'm meeting Kei Akagi for a little coffee, although I may very well have tea, since I'm starting to feel cold symptoms coming on. I'll be nice to see that guy for a couple of hours tonight.
Today, I saw this thing online that kicks Intelligent Design in the balls. If you don't believe in evolution, you're dumb. But in you're intent on being dumb, here's a theory that's just as good as Intelligent Design. Church of FSM.
By Jeff @ 7:12 PM
Ryan is getting a little jazz combo together at Kelly's Mens Store in Old Town Tustin, and has so graciously asked me to sit in on a couple of tunes. Come on out to:
330 El Camino Real, Tustin CA 92780
Goes from around 6 to around 9. Should be a good time. Bring your pipe, stogie, cigs, or be ready to buy.
By Jeff @ 5:21 PM
You know who.
I'm in the process of transcribing the Spongebob Squarepants for one of my trumpet students. I just DLed it, and I hope my transcription chops are up to par. Because I just listened to the whole theme song for the first time and it's fucking garbage. It's the worst theme song I've ever heard. Thank G-d that it's only 30 seconds long.
(in Spanish, he's Bob Esponja, btw)
Oh yeah, GO RAIDERS!
By Jeff @ 11:40 AM
But you knew that, though, yeah? I sent out a press release. I ate most of 'em...
I'm dumb. Dumb!
So apparently the thing I've been waiting for from the OC Dept. of Education came in the mail two weeks ago, and I didn't realize it. I thought I was getting some kind of fingerprint ID card. As it turns out, it's just a yellow slip of paper saying I passed my Dept. of Justice background check AND paid for my fingerprinting. The woman was REALLY condescending on the phone when I called to inquire about the shit. But. The show must go on. If I had called this morning, I'd've applied today. Now, it's 415-ish, and much too late to start this garbage. Now, I'm committed to one more day of temp work, which I can get through standing on my head, I'll decline to work the half-day they have lined up for me on Monday and get my ass to the PYLUSD office bright and early that morning.
By Jeff @ 4:15 PM
Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story
Send your thanks in the form of whisky (in all its incarnations). No younger than 18 years, please. I like my spirits of legal age.
By Jeff @ 9:58 PM
Last night, Barb and I went to a hotel/diner/club/lounge/bar called The Standard in Hollywood with a bunch of her coworkers. It's a pretty fucking hip/trendy place. I'd go back there, though I might stay out of the VIP lounge next time. We had a reservation in the lounge, and they hesitated to let 8 of the 10 of us in, even though we had a reservation. They, of course, let every hot blonde that walked next to us in. But eventually, we got past the velvet rope, and into the hip-and-trendy lounge. The requisite to get to hang out in the lounge was that for every 6 people, you have to order at least a $100 bottle of Champagne. And we had 10 people. $200 later, we were all having a good time, sitting near the DJ booth, but as the night got later, the speakers got (of course) louder. Wouldn't've been so bad, except for everyone that works at Barb's work relies on their ears for their jobs (sound design, remember?), plus me, with my also-sensitive ears. We had a good time until it got too loud to talk to each other. I need to get out to that scene more. Not a lot more. Just a little.
By Jeff @ 3:26 PM