Gotta love nerds

White Mage
You scored 33% physical, 60% magic, 38% versatile, and 61% good!

You are a very mystical, caring person. You seek to ease the suffering
of those around you, and as a result you have a mastery of healing and
defensive magic. You are extremely valuable to your team because you
can heal people's wounds instantly and protect them from further harm.
You are also the bane of the undead, and all foes should watch out when
you pull out Holy, the smiting judgement of the gods.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 28% on physical
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 80% on mystical
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 34% on versatile
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 55% on good
Link: The Final Fantasy Job Class Test written by Artscrafter on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Zzz... wednesday...Zzz...

it's so late, it's early. I'm gonna try to make this short and sweet. Trombone came today. It's awesome. Needs a ton of work, tho. Maybe pics to follow. More to come in the morning. Night, babies.


"Trust the Midas Touch®"

I got my gold mouthpiece this afternoon

Old & New

It's great. It's like playing a stick of butter, if that makes sense to anyone. Now, here's one of the Gold Schilke 47 and the shayna punim.


There, pretty as a picture... Ach! A Zombie!

I just got back from seeing Land of the Dead with Jeremy and his boys, and I LOVED it! But those that truly know me, know I fucking LOVE zombie movies. Well, horror movies in general, but zombie movies especially. And when Dennis Hopper plays a rich Jew (the richest guy in the world, it seems) named "Kaufman," how can you go wrong? Now, I'm not saying you all should run out and see it, even though it's good. It's not one to take a date to... Sorry, Barbie. If you want to see it, I'll take you, but there's a lot of gore, so it's not one I'd force you to. On a side note, I even went to this movie dressed as a zombie. See?:

I had a lesson today, and you know what I realized? I suck ass at trumpet playing. I've been practicing trombone like a motherfucker, too. That means for the total of one hour a week when I teach trumpet, I suck big time. I am hitting higher notes on the trombone tho...

WARNING: The next few things I'm gonna say are in musical nomenclature, so if you don't know what I mean, don't ask, but don't feel bad, either.

...Before I took a break from playing a couple years ago, my range pretty much stopped at D5, which is pretty good, but expected for a lead trombonist. In the last couple of weeks, tho, my range has increased to Eb5, E5, and F5, which I never could quite reach with any sort of facility in college. Today, I somehow reached (with no trouble, mind you) Bb5 (right under C6, kiddies). I've never in my life played Bb5, and I hit it pretty solidly today. It's always nice to see practicing pay off.

Now, I'm watching The Kings of Comedy, one of the best comedy movies ever. Bernie Mac is just as funny the 100th time as he is the first time. Those that know him from The Bernie Mac Show, as funny as that is, isn't anywhere near his stand-up act. He is one funny ass motherfucker. Speaking of funny motherfuckers, this motherfucker needs to get to bed. I'm out this motherfucker!



(You gotta love camera phones)

Here's my big milestone for the xB:

1000 Miles, baby!

(I know there's glare. Give a brother a break, ok?)

King 3B

I won the trombone I was eyeing. King 3B. I'm stoked, and it should be here, hopefully, by the beginning of next week, then into the shop for some TLC. As for me, I have to get away from this damn computer! My eyes are strained. See ya.


I guess there's worse things to be addicted to.

There are a few of you who won't care one iota about what I'm going to say in a sec, yet there are some of you that will be proud of me for doing what I'm doing. And there are the distinct few of you (you know exactly who you are) that will be ecstatic to hear the good news, yet feel (understandably) like it's a long time coming. Almost too long.

I can't stop practicing.

I play trombone, I get tired, I rest, and then I go back to playing. I was playing scales and ballads at 1030pm tonight. Maybe even a little later than that. And I had to play quiet enough to not wake my parents or the neighbors. It was great, and all I want to do is play. It's actually fun again, which is weird, but great at the same time.

Last night, I went to Barbie's. It was last minute, too. I was bored as fuck and decided to get the Hell outta Dodge and visit my girl, and it ended up being a very good decision. We had *gasp* In-N-Out, which I haven't had in at least a month, and it was delicious. It was good to chill out. And to think, I would've probably done nothing if I had stayed home. Tomorrow (Monday) night is the cast & crew premier of a movie Barb's been working on called Me You And Everyone We Know. It's won a shitload of awards, and I hear from a reliable source that it's great. It seems like one of those that'll be a sleeper, but it'll be oscar worthy and amazing. So I will be attending with my favorite sound production assistant. Should be a goood night.

I'm watching a trombone on eBay. Some of you have seen it. I don't want to talk too much about it, cause if I jinx it, I'll be pissed. I have grand designs for it, tho, so I hope I get it. It ends on Thursday... You'll know if I get it. I'm even gonna miss work Thrusday morning so I can snipe it. That's a dick move, I know, but I WANT IT!


And where is The Batman? He's at home! Washing his tights!

We saw Batman Begins last night. It was fucking great.

Jeremy got this HUGE group together (like 20+ people), and everyone had a fucking awesome time. I got drunk. Bryan was there, and so was Steve Chun, which was cool, since I haven't seen the guy in like 6 years. Eric, Chris, Nash were there too. Good times were had by all. I was LOUD at teh table, too. I mean very loud. I was telling drunken stories all night, until the movie. It was sweet. But anyway, on to Batman:

It was fucking great! The only detraction to the movie was Katie Holmes, who looks like her face was smashed in with half a waffle iron. And I can't take her seriously since she's marrying Tom Cruise, anyway. Fucking Scientologists. Christian Bale is now the best Batman/Bruce Wayne ever, I might add. He does such a good job in everything. He's my new favorite actor, officially. I give Batman Begins

Six Bat Symbols out of Six


Alms for the Poor.

I want to buy a new trombone. A King 3B Silver Sonic. It's like $2000, new. If I find a used one, it'll be $1000-$1500 (depending on the year it was made). Anyway, I'm now accepting donations. My Paypal name is (now use your brain on this one):


Any amount is appreciated. And to those that donate $100 or more, a brand new Mixwell T-Shirt is our gift to you.


All The Things You Are

I'm sorry, kids. I hate to not keep this shit updated for all of my zealots out there, but even the best of us need a weekend off every once in a while. Lets start from the beginning:

This weekend, playing for the UCI Orchestra was a lot of fun. It was great to see everyone and to hear what all my colleagues are up to, and I got a chance to meet two of the undergrad trombone players (and a bass trombone player), and they're cool as shit. And it's such that I see and hear from them all the shit I went through, but with no guidance. And I opened the lines of communication with them. I feel like the trendsetter of the low brass department (switching from classical to jazz, and all). On Thursday night, we went to the YardHouse, on Friday, there was a huge party at this old guy's (Bob Cuyler's) house (which was cool as Hell), and Saturday, we went to Lucky Strike Lanes. The whole Three-Day ordeal was fantastic. Plus I got my Scion on Friday, so that added to the awesomeness of the weekend.

Sunday, I went with Ryan, Jessica, and Kevin to play some Par 3 golf, which was great. I suck with irons, but I had a good ass time. It was a good way to spend the afternoon. Then we went back to Ryan's and ate pizza, drank beer, and watched the tremendous Sunday evening programming.

Monday, I had to work... [fast forward to the afternoon]... Steve Liu and I went to Pasadena and met up with Kathy. The Pasadena Museum of Art (or whatever) has a Jazz on the Terrace type of series, and it was pretty cool. Those of you from the UCI Big Band will remember Yvette Freeman and Lanny Hartley, two amazing musicians, and I hung out with them and they remembered me from the concerts they were in (one every two or so years). It was awesome. The whole night was great, except the traffic on the way out, but Steve was great to hang with all weekend, so it's not like ever ever stopped talking.

Speaking of not talking, or not being able to stop; Jeremy and I ended up seeing each other on the road yesterday afternoon. It was one of those freak occurences that you're really glad came to pass. We ended up hanging out for like seven hours, and we seriously didn't stop talking for more than 30 seconds the whole time. It was SO nice to see the guy. It's been forever. We showed me World of Warcraft, and it'll take every shred of willpower to not go buy it tonight (it's sweet). We then went to Alcatraz Brewing Co. and drank a fair amount of beer, ate a little bit, and really touched base on a lot of things. It was sweet. I think I told him that I'd be a The Mug tonight, but I got home from work a little later than planned. I also made a promise to practice two hours tonight... which I did.

A tuppence to the one that can name the song I practiced before calling it a night.


xB, Part Two

It's here! I just got it! Well, like 45 minutes ago, but it's mine!Hopefully I can go more than 7 days without it being wrecked.

*knocks on wood*

So, everything is good. It's the same car, save the 6 disc changer (bummer), but I do have scheduled maintenance for the first 55K miles. I'm so happy (again)!

My name is Simon, and I like to do drawrings

So I've crossed disciplines and started sketching. Here's the latest scans:

The Snack


The links are to the full-sized versions.

All images copyright Jeff Long

© 2005


Wrong Mail ¡¡UPDATE!!

I came home today to find a first class envelope from my car insurance company. "Could this be my check?" I asked myself. I opened it up to find a piece of mail that had nothing to do with my accident. Basically, some idiot stuck the wrong letter in my envelope, didn't double check the adressee or the claim # and said "Duh, Me think this am ready for mail. Duh, here you go, Mr. Mailman." So now, someone else has been delivered my check (I assume), and that means I'm gonna get pissed when I go to Mercury Insurance's office building tomorrow and tear some new assholes.


Apparently, the first class envelope that I received was a complete mistake. I guess the insurance doesn't send checks out like that. My dad called and the guy said that it's en route and should arrive today or tomorrow. That said, I have a 3 day deferment period for the down payment. If I'm feeling like taking a risk, I'm gonna get the car today.



Well, I told my dad I was right, and I prayed I was wrong. Unfortunately, I wasn't.

A few months ago, my dad was having a turf war with some bees. They were living around the chimney, and were just a nuisance, so my dad sprayed some foam insecticide at them, and they seemed to go away. Last friday, I came home to find the gardener standing outside the gate, looking for my dad. He told me to go find him, and pointed to the chimney, where a swarm of bees was doing it's thing. I told my dad that we had them in the walls, and he didn't believe me. He gave in, though, and called an exterminator. The exterminator came out today, and gave the official word that there are bees in the walls. Well, just the wall where the chimney is, in the back of my parents' closet and bathroom. I don't know what it takes to get bees out of the walls, but I'll soon find out.

Red Leader, this is Red 5

Here's what I look like at work when I work with insulation. I think I look like a little kid that couldn't get his X-Wing Fighter Pilot costume right:

Me, 97.1 FM, and My 15 seconds of Infamy

I was on my way to Kevin's last night, for beer with him and Ryan. On my way, I was listening to 97.1 FM, a station which I've praised here before, and they were talking about something I'm very passionate about: Women breast feeding in public. I know what some of you are thinking, and I know a lot of you know I fancy myself a bigger (no pun intended) breast man than the average bear, but I hate when women feed their children straight from the tap in a public place. Having been a waiter for 7 years, I've seen my fair share of titties at the table due to breast feeding. It's the most uncomfortable thing to walk up on, cause IMO, it's this personal, private thing between a mother and her kid, so why are you doing it uncovered in public?! Now, if a blanket is introduced and you can't see anything, I'm fine with it. I was trying to explain to Barbie on the phone last night that if the women were hot, I might be victim of a double standard, cause all the tit-feeding I've seen has been on fat, gross, welfare mothers, and I'm not the biggest fan of seeing tits I don't have a desire to see. Keep in mind, I'm not against the act of breast feeding, cause those that know me in the biblical sense, know I enjoy it quite a bit.

So I called in to 97.1, and I actually got through (a first for me), and I was excited as hell to be on the air. So I did on the air, what a lot of men to their first time: I blew my load too early. I went on this rant, and then dialogue started, and I was trying to get a word in egdewise after that but couldn't. So what do I do? I end up cutting the host off, mid-sentence, and they promptly hung up on me. I was mortified. I've been embarassed until now, since I'm getting the whole thing out of my system. The worst of it was I was on hold for 15 minutes, and I wasn't on the air for more than a minute.

In a nutshell:
Titties: Great
Breast Feeding: Fine
Doing it in Public: Unacceptable
Me, Partaking: Heaven
97.1 FM: Assholes, but I'll still tune in


Mixwell, Mixwell, Mixwell

I did a shitload of work a couple of months ago for Mixwell, and I finally got my clothes-as-payment today:

For those keeping score, that's 21 t-shirts and 3 hooded sweatshirts. I just realized that I probably got gypped on overtime, but I don't care. It's nice that this debt to me is paid off. Plus, I love the clothes, so it makes everything gravy.

Yay Me!

You Are a Life Blogger!

Your blog is the story of your life - a living diary.
If it happens, you blog it. And make it as entertaining as possible.


20 ?uestions (it's been a while)

It's been a while since I filled one of these out, so I made one up. I hope its funny for you all (feel free to fill one out in comments, or steal it and forward it out to everyone you know):

20 ?uestions

Your Name:

Any good nicknames to share?:
El Jefe (sometimes)

What're you driving (or trying to drive):
A Scion xB (SOON!)

Your current job is:
Building Maintenance

Your Dream Job is:
Some kind of PR job

Your Other Dream Job is:
Professional Sadist (Surprised?)

Pasta, Potato, or Rice?:

Carbs or Protein?:
As much as I love all things starchy, I could never give up salmon sashimi

Appetizer or Dessert?:
Usually apps

Regular or Decaf?:
As of this month, decaf

Hell yes

You dig on swine?:
Those that know me, know all too well.

Do you belong to a super hero team?:
Of course I do

If so, which one?:
West Coast Avenger (Part-Time)

Who're your arch-nemeses?:
The Haters, Anti-Semites (of course), and Dr. Doom

What's your super-power, and how do you use it to triumph over your enemies?:
The ability to Shake the Haters off, plus I have four hands, so I can give those titties four thumbs down!

Can you read?:
I tink to.

If so, you readin' anything good?:
The Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, Nothing Sacred, plus loads of comics (Y the Last Man, Ex Machina, Conan, Green Lantern, Hellboy, Astonishing X-Men)

Are you "Goth?":
Yeah... I was just diagnosed

If so, do you eat Count Chocula?:
I wish...

You look cold. Did you remember to bring a sweater?:
Go on, eat some more, too. You're all skin and bones.

¿¢@π ¥ø|_| ®€a∂ 7|-|¡§?:
¥€$, 1 ¢@|\|

Say one nice thing about the person that sent this to you:
Where should I start... Jeff's smart, funny, the perennial cynic, and he's huge, you know, downstairs. Honestly, it's the stuff that dreams are made of ;)


Work fell through today. I wish I didn't get up at 6, but I'm glad to have the day off. Someone once asked "What about second breakfast?" Well Peregrin Took, I'm eating it right now. I had a bowl of cereal like 3 hours ago, and I'm starving again, so I'm eating a breakffast burrito (just eggs, a little cheese, and a tortilla). I hope that means my metabolism's up, and I'm not just a big fat ass anymore.

I did a fair amount yesterday. Melissa's recital was awesome! I got to see Kathy and Antonio among other Anteaters *Zot!* That was awesome, too. Afterwards, I was listening to Blackalicious and heard the lyric "A bouquet of corpses" and got this great mental image of such a bouquet, and was compelled to go to Aaron Bros. to buy a sketch book and colored pencils so I could attempt to hack it out in my own retarded, left-foot-drawn, eyes-closed looking kind of way. If I can ever get it done, I'll post it. I sat in on a poker game last night, and blew $20. I hate playing with people who don't know how to play. It's not that I don't like the fact that they don't know the game. I could care less about that. It's the fact that new people have tremendous luck, and it's impossible to get a tell on someone that has no clue.

When I was outside of Aaron Bros., I saw this, and had to share it with you:

Nugg Life!

Pinky & The Brain

Big ups to Eric for linking this to me. Now, I'll share it with all of you:

Pinky & The Brain


Konichiwa, bitches!

Today ended up being a better day than I had ever expected. Work was easy. Eric and I chilled out, and hung out, and had lunch, and all that good shit. 4 hours later, I was on my way home. I stopped by a church to see Chris and Chuck filming, and I even got to be camera man for a minute. I then went back to Chris' place, and hung out for a few hours. Chris' mom even fed me. After dinner, we smoked stogies. Now, I'm home, drinking beer, and its great.

I had to cross the line a little today, so I could stand up for myself. Val had some salsa sitting on the counter, and I wanted some, but not enough to ask for it. So, long story short, I forgot about it. After I ate, I started an orange. Val comes over and starts saying shit like "you should've had the salsa" and I told him that I didn't know he was done with it, and I didn't care enough to ask if I could have some. And he kept saying, "you should've had it," and shit like that, so I said "Fine! You want me to have some? I'll have some!" And I dipped my orange in the salsa, and took a huge bite of salsa and an orange segment. It was really funny. I had Val and Eric cracking up. I even almost lost it before I swallowed the horrid spicy tomato-orange mixture I was chewing on. It was CLASSIC. Eric'll attest to it. I wish I could do a better job describing it, cause of the greatness of the situation.

I'm 'onna get deep like Jaques Cousteau

Jaques Cousteau could neva' get this low!

I just got back from my only lesson today, and it was a trumpet lesson. It was pretty good. I have this kid who's in 7th or 8th grade, and he's a good little trumpet player. It was my lesson with him that influenced me to buy a trumpet method book for myself, so I can have more facility during lessons (since the majority of my students are trumpet students)... Can you imagine? Me, "Bones" Long, a trumpeter?! Well, it's weird to me.

I've got to go to work here in a minute... tho I'm racking my brain trying to find an excuse not to go (Sorry, Eric). I need the hours, tho, since these last couple weeks have been funny. It'll be easy tho, since I'm just taking the ceiling apart, tho there's fiberglass insulation all on top of the ceiling, and if there's no surgical-type mask, there's no reason for me to be working. Fiber-dust sucks. When you deal with mass quantities of insulation, the dust gets EVERYWHERE. And it's not something you can just brush off, either. I erased the pic of what I look like when I do insulation, but you look like you're covered in Cheetos dust (except it's yellow, not orange). I'm often in a sweatshirt (hood up), a beanie, safety glasses, gloves, a mask, and a bandana on my head somewhere (most likely over the mask).the only place the dust can really get to is my temples and my wrists, and that, in and of itself, sucks. Well, I'm going to work, but maybe I can steal a mask from my dad before I do, since Eric isn't sure if we have any at work, either.


Are YOU a "Goth?!?!"

Oh, Christianity, how do I love thee? It's things like this that provide such and endless supply of comedic material, I can't help but post it... and I know it's from the First Baptist Church, so don't ALL of you shit your collective pants all at once. I keed, I keed. If you're not Baptist, laugh along with me. I'll bold the reasons why I'm goth, according to the church. Feel free to copy/paste yours into a comment:

Is your child a Goth?

Presented by First Baptist Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in, like those killers at Columbine. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing.

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.

-Wears excessive black eye makeup,lipstick or nail polish.

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols.

-Shows an interest in piercings or tattoos.

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports.

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.

-Takes drugs.

-Drinks alcohol.
I wish I could double bold this one

-Is suicidal and/or depressed.

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation.(This is a Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.)

-Complains of boredom.

-Sleeps too excessively or too little.

-Is excessively awake during the night.

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy.

-Spends large amounts of time alone.

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to evil sprits through meditation.)

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, pastors, clergy and elders are but a few examples of this

-Misbehaves at school.

-Misbehaves at home.

-Eats excessively or too little

-Eats goth-related foods. Count Chocula cereal is an example of this.
please draw your attention to this one. Who doesn't love the Count?!

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.)

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.

-Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.

-Expresses an interest in sex.

I wish I could double bold this one, too

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual.

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism,
Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism.
Buddhism, dangerous?!

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".

-Claims to be a goth.
If you don't know your kid is gothic after these two, you deserve to be cast into fiery damnation.

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

~First Baptist Church
06-03-2005 at 05:19 PM

Okay, let's all go to the looney bin. I know I'm not the only one. It's okay, tho, I'll drive.

Books, Books, and more Books (Or, Fun With Links)

I have this horrible habit of buying books, reading the first couple of chapters, and then I'll see another book(s) and go "Oh man, I can't believe I haven't read ________ yet! I think I'll buy it!" And on and on it goes. I just finished Harry Potter 5 last weekend, while at the same time, I've been working on The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon, and Lewis Black's Nothing Sacred. I was in Borders today, and bought 3 more books: This Business of MUSIC (9th Ed.), Fight Club by Palahniuk, and Crime and Punishment by everybody's favorite, Dostoevsky. I gotta stop watching TV so I can get to all these. There's still a dozen more that I have to get to besides these 5, plus Harry Potter 6 in a month and a half. It'll be a mitzvah if I can read all the books I mean to by the end of Summer. Bye bye, TV.

ADDENDUM: Lets not forget my addiction to comic books to add to this list...

What to do...

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life... I'm toying with the idea of going back to school. I think I know what I want to do, but does anyone have any bright ideas as to what they could see me doing in the future? And if I were to go back to school, what should I study?

Should I move to an Indian Reservation and deal Texas Hold 'Em?
Should I go to Bartending school and mix drinks for a living?
Should I learn computer programming and design video games?
Should I quit bitching and just play trombone?

Please add your thoughts in the comments section.

You take the high road, and I'll take the low road

So I'm sitting here, up early... and I'm daydreaming about where I'd take a vacation if I had the scratch and the time. Ryan's friend, Kevin, recently got back from Ireland, and he said it was great, and I've always wanted to go to that part of the world. For fun, I just finished pricing out a 10 day trip from LAX to Glasgow, Scotland (for 5 days), then Glasgow to Dublin, Ireland (for 5 days) and back to LAX. Only $848 for the round trip. Hotel'd be a lot, but a rental car wouldn't be that expensive, it seems... Would I dare take a huge trip like this? Moreover, would I take a trip like this by myself? It'd probably end up costing me $2K, before food, Guinness and whisky, but it sounds worth it, doesn't it? Maybe if I ever pay my credit card off, I'll treat myself.


Attention! Attention!

It's my pleasure to announce the Senior Recital of
Melissa Craig

Sunday, 2pm, Winni Smith Hall, UCI. See you there.

To Enter: Send me your Parents' Brains!

Or write "Parents Brains" on a three-by-five card and send it to...

I'm home from work early, and I'm about to go out and see if there's any remaining crap in my xB before I sign it over to the insurance company. As of right now, tho, I'm just hangin' out. I've even got a friend with me...