Here they are. New specs.

And the backside

I upgraded. Changes to come.

I thought I missed my chance to upgrade to Blogger Beta, but I didn't. I just switched. We'll see how it is. They have a new upgraded template thingy, so I can change around the layout of this thing. Expect some slight (and not so slight) changes in the near future.

Now how'd that get there?

This is one of those pics where I really wish I had used my camera, instead of my phone.

For those that don't know, my old car used to look just like this... except without the hood ornament.


My•o•pi•a (N): nearsightedness

Earlier today, I was sitting at home. Bored. Woke up late. Sore back. Stiff torso. Lame TV. In a vegetative state. Basically. I get up to go out. To run errands. To wake up. Thinking that being outside would cure me of this daze I spent the "morning" in.

Everything in the outside world is in a fog to me. Visually, it feels like my eyes aren't taking everything in. Granted, my glasses are all scratched up, which I think adds to the problem (new glasses coming soon, btw). My senses feel dull. Like they're getting all this stimuli, but only sending 20% of it up to the brain. I went to a few places today. The comic shop, Best Buy, Borders. Nothing was engaging. Have you ever done things after having had a few drinks? Your wits are slow. It takes effort to process the things that are happening. That's how I've felt all day today, and I haven't had a drop of alcohol. It's like I've been drinking, without the buzz. Only the disorientation.

At Borders, I bought a GRE study guide in case I decide to go for a Masters in the fall. I read the first few pages, and it read like gibborish. I knew what the words were. I knew what they meant (except for perfidy, which I had never heard before), but I couldn't make sense of them. It's like my brain couldn't handle being engaged in such a way.

I wish I could explain why I feel this way, but I can't. This isn't the first time I've felt this way, either.


On tomorrow's docket:

Batman #657
Loveless #11
Eternals #4
She-Hulk 2 #12
Ultimate Spider-Man #100
Ultimates 2 #12


President of Pakistan to be on the Daily Show, 9/26

On Tuesday, September 26th, General Pervez Musharraf, President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan will be on The Daily Show. Thought some of you might be interested to check it out.

From a wonderfully relaxing weekend, to Monday

This weekend was good. Hung with Barb. Drank a lot. We celebrated Rosh Hashanah at my Uncle's place, with 40 other people, and a lot of booze. I had to work Sunday night, but that doesn't count.

You guessed it, loyal fans. It's that day of days. The one day of the week that's so bad, it makes children quake in their shoes and causes grown men to cry. Yet today, Monday has been somewhat forgiving. For me, at least. If we could quantify what it truly means to be Monday, then compare today's Monday to the preconceived ideal of Monday, it might look something like this:

Today ≥ Monday

Today started out proper enough. Woke up groggy. Got in the shower a little late. Got on the road just barely late. Walked into work right on time, which means just barely late. Today's lunch ended up being a good one. We got new computers. And I made a ton of money. "How much is a ton?" I'm glad you asked. My tips today seemed pretty mediocre, until I got $30 from the IT people who installed the new system. $100 today. On a MONDAY!! I still sit in disbelief. Weirdest thing on my ride home, tho. I kept Mr. Franklin close to my hip, and my pocket started to get warm. Almost like it was burning a hole in my pocket...

I'm driving home, trying to think of what to buy at Best Buy or Amazon.com, when I address a more urgent need and buy beer at the store. I bought Boddingtons, sweet Boddingtons. And thanks in part to Barbie (and Tommy), I bought a 6-pack of Spaten Oktoberfest Beer. It's fucking delicious. Let the record show my initial reaction was "MMMM! that's damn tasty!"

Once drinking, I jumped on iTunes and bought a bunch of music ($55 worth).

Public Enemy- Muse Sick-n-Hour Mess Age
Jedi Mind Tricks- Servants in Heaven, Kings in Hell
Golem!- Fresh Off Boat


A bunch of Thelonious Monk tunes

Thanks to everyone who inspired my purchases today: Lex, Ryan, Eric, Dave (keys in my band, Dave), and myself. I have yet to listen to everything, but I've been listening to Golem! since dinner, and it's fucking enjoyable. It's punk rock klezmer. It's such a manic good time. Takes me back to my 3rd wave ska days in high school. This is a little more intellectual, though. A great, fun ass version of Hava Nagila called "Golem Hora." Search "Golem!" on your iTunes client. Now I'm off to Amazon.com to buy the 3-disc special edition of Kurosawa's Seven Samurai.

Tonight's a good night to veg out, too, which I will do while rotating my CD wallet tonight. New Prison Break on in 4 minutes, followed by Heroes on NBC at 9. It's about everyday people who develop "superpowers." I've seen a little bit on TV and heard on the radio and it sounds fucking great. It's a good time to be a couch potato.


Tishrei 1, 5767! Shana Tova!

Happy New Year, all!

It's 247 on the first night of Rosh Hashanah. I'm at Barbie's, wide awake from the cappuccino I had when I was with Chris earlier, and high off the 4 (now 5) beers I've had since I've been here. Equilibrium just came on FX (well, 15-45 minutes ago), and I know I'm going to watch it to the end. I love this movie. It's as good as the first Matrix as far as I'm concerned.

Tomorrow night, we go to my Uncle B's for what ends up being a kickass Jewish dinner. I love all the Jewish holidays, but Rosh Hashanah is my favorite. From the food to the reason why we celebrate, to seeing my whole family, it should be a perfect night. Pics to follow.


The 2006 Jeffrey Long Eyeball Debacle has come to a close.

In the wake of my aborted eye surgery, I went to the optometrist to pick some new frames today. A little more expensive than I intended (including lenses, at least). I decided on going to glasses (instead of contacts) should I have needed an alternative to surgery. And if things don't work out for surgery at the beginning of next year, I'll have nice, new glasses. Before you ask, no I won't show a pic of them before I get 'em. The big reveal will be in 7-10 business days. They're nerd glasses, though, which I'm kind of excited about.

I will say this. My new glasses can be found here. A cold, frosty one to whoever can find it. I'll even add your shot of choice if you can pick the right color (or colors), too. There's only one person that's ineligible since she's already seen a pic of 'em, but I already buy her drinks when we go out, so it's fair.


Mission Aborted. False Alarm.

I just got a call from my eye surgeon, and he urged me to wait on surgery, since my astigmatism is so high, and my corneas are so thin. He said 1st Quarter next year will have better technology for eyes like mine, and that tech is 100% reversible. We'll see what the future hold. In any case, I'm getting new glasses until the surgery.

Missed any recent eps of Prison Break?

Barb pointed this out to me the other day. Some guy's been uploading entire Prison Break eps in bite-sized chunks to YouTube. Thankfully, you can play vids full screen on YouTube now. I'm sure glad I haven't spent the $40 to buy the entire season on iTunes yet. Lets hope this guy keeps uploading, and YouTube keeps not giving a fuck.


God of War

I just finished God of War, a PS2 game I bought last week. It's a great game. I forgot just how theraputic it is to mash buttons, kill monsters, level up, etc. If you're in need of a new PS2 game, if only for the sake of needing a distraction, spend $20 and have some fun. Oh yeah, it's based on Greek Mythology, so you can put that stuff you learned in 6th grade to good use.


Big Mazel, Matey.

Seeing as how it's "International Talk Like a Pirate Day," I figured I'd post this great article, brought to my attention by Johnny Utah from BKV.TV:

Many of the pirates of yore were Jewish

As of last weekend, Disney had plundered $1 billion worldwide with "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," and International Talk Like a Pirate Day -- that's Sept. 19, for you landlubbers -- has gone from an inside joke between two friends to a mock holiday celebrated in more than 40 countries.

Yet tales of Jewish piracy, which stretch back thousands of years, aren't in the public's consciousness, and Hollywood even has been known to remove a pirate's Jewish background. As a result, we're stuck with portrayals of pirates as wayward English seamen on a murderous rampage.

But now a forthcoming book hopes to change that image by focusing on Ladino-speaking Jews whose piracy grew out of the Inquisition. "The Jewish pirates were Sephardic. Once they were kicked out of Spain [in 1492], the more adventurous Jews went to the New World," said Ed Kritzler, whose yet-untitled book on Jewish pirates will be published by Doubleday in spring 2007.

Jewish piracy has been around since well before the Barbary pirates first preyed on ships during the Crusades. In the time of the Second Temple, Jewish historian Flavius Josephus records that Hyrcanus accussed Aristobulus of "acts of piracy at sea."

Read more at the source...

It's official: LASIK scheduled for Friday

I've worn glasses since I was 12, and contacts since I was 16. I'm sick of it all. I went in for a consult for LASIK 3 weeks ago, and I've been in strictly glasses for the last 4. My surgery is set for Friday morning. Not only is my surgeon is one of the top eye surgeons in the country, he's also a laser researcher for the FDA. I've been warned that my astigmatism is high enough to warrant a possible second surgery after ample recovery time (3 months), but that doesn't bother me. Not only do I have complete confidence in the abilities of the doc, but if I DO have to go in for a second surgery, it's free of cost.

If you need to get in touch with me, be sure you do it by Thrusday night. On Friday morning, I'm turning my cell phone off for a while. Phone should be back in business that night, but all you internet junkies better wait until Sunday.

If all goes well, I'll actually be able to see, and I'm looking forward to seeing everybody through new eyes.



I spent Saturday at Barbie's. Had fun. Didn't want to come home for work. Work wasn't fun. It's hard to go from a lazy weekend to having to work, and work was full of bullshit. I was an hour and a half late for rehearsal, too. We went out to Denny's for dessert afterwards. That was cool.

Before I go to bed, I'll leave you all with this pic I took coming home in traffic today, the subject of the pic being why there was traffic.


Okay, it's time to vent...

I've been having problems with a coworker at the restaurant, and it's been bothering the fuck out of me. Usually when I have problems with someone (or someone has problems with me), it doesn't come to petty behavior, insults, name-calling, or talking behind someone's back. There's this lady that works at Z's, who I trained just before I left. Let's call her "D." I always thought she was nice, friendly. Maybe not the sharpest knife, but I felt her heart was in teh right place. A couple of weeks ago, on ssslllllooooowwww Labor Day, I inadvertently did something to throw her off. A small thing, too. A "whoops, I didn't realize you left it like that" thing. Easy to fix. Not worth a second thought. No malign thoughts on my part. Yet, she had a fucking conniption. And in all honesty, I could give a shite. I told her I was just following policy, and had no way of knowing her needs. If I had known she was going to have a shit fit, I'd've left everything untouched. Since then, she's been on the warpath with me. Throwing stink eyes at me, talking a mess behind my back to several coworkers, and making life less than happy in the workplace.

At the place I work, we all have fun with each other. Get in each other's way, move things when someone's back is turned, playful insults. The things that friends (or friendly coworkers) do. This last Monday, I intentionally got in the way of this woman, thinking things were all good, she snapped and got in my face, "You are so fucking rude! You're always in the way!" and various other shit. I apologized and got out of the way, but that was too little, too late. I got the cold shoulder for nearly the rest of the shift. I was on a double, so near the end of my first shift, I was fucking ready to get out of there, and I wasn't going to let anybody say peep about it. Managers were in a meeting, I had no tables, so I cashed out, ordered food, and got the fuck off the clock. While I'm sitting, eating, she comes to within 10 feet of me, hiding behind a wall to avoid the managers I'm sitting near, and starts barking orders at me. I tell her "no, I'm off," and she starts yelling at me to get up and do some shit I "forgot."

Understand, loyal fans, that D and I are at the same employment level. We're both servers. She isn't my superior. In fact, I still hold about a year of senority over her from my previous 3 years working there. Let's not forget the fact that if someone angrily demands me to do ANYTHING, my first instinct is to do nothing; to ignore. Even from a superior. I endured the bitching, and chilled out for a minute. I find out later that while I'm eatiing with another server, trying to make sense of why D flipped out, she's bitching to someone else about me. I went to management as soon as I could, and I have a new respect for my GM for the way he handled the problem. I told him I was being somewhat of an ass (intending to be playful), and that she flipped out. He seemed surprised to hear my complaint, and pulls out the pocket management manual that clearly states that as part of the company's definition of "teamwork," employees must be "a pleasure to be around," and from my description of events, she was far from that. He said he'd talk to her Tuesday after I got off about what happened.

Tuesday, while I was on, there's a guy I work with who's on my MySpace friends list and is into my band. I use "JeffX" as my stage name and myspace handle, and that's what he calls me. So while he was talking to D, and I walked by and he exclaimed "JeffX!" to which I threw up metal \m/ which happened to be behind D's head. A poor oversight on my part. I had spent the whole shift tactfully avoiding her, and at teh end, she comes up to me as asks what that means.

"It's rock & roll," I say.

"Isn't it the sign of the devil?"

"Well, yeah, but it's rock & roll." At this point, I figure she's attempting to be nice, and is just making coversation. Until she pettily says

"Maybe you should put those horns on your own head."

Frustrated, I ask politely (but firmly) "please D, don't bother talking to me anymore." Then she starts flapping her gums, doing her best chicken impression. Without hesitation, I roll my eyes and walk away.

I've had today off. Thursday, I'll discover the reprocussions of what's happened over Tuesday afternoon and today. I've heard word that pretty much every member of the staff has a problem with her, and that these problems have been documented. I've also heard she's been fired once before and somehow got her job back. I've made it clear to the powers that be that the last thing I want is a feud. I just want to be treated fairly. We'll see if I have any updates tomorrow.


Skullsplitter Ale: A dangerous beer to review

I opened a bottle of Skullsplitter Ale (by the Orkney Brewery, Scotland, UK), with the intent to review it. It's so good, that I can't review it. I'm gonna sit and enjoy my two bottles, maybe buy a couple more this week and then share my review. Just buy it.

Real review to come soon.


Apparently, I'm a Communist.

I went to the taqueria for some tacos, and this bum (that's right, a fuckin' bum) starts asking me about my car. I tell him it's a good car.

Bum: American?

Me: No, Japanese.

B: What? What're you, a fuckin' communist?!

M: Hey, man. These things happen.

B: [puzzled look] ...can I have some change.

M: Um. In a minute.

Why insult someone then ask 'em for change? I didn't give him any, btw. The dollar I would've given him, I give at the taqueria for the guy in front of me who shorted the girl at the register.


Sweet Ass Labor Day

Worked a little & made some money. Went to Kevin's new (kick ass) place to hang with Kevin & Ryan and to drink beer. Played poker, too. During the game, Ryan tapped the bottom of his beer bottle to the mouth of mine (at my request, since I did it to him) which caused it to foam up SO MUCH, that when I put my mouth over it to drink the foam, it foamed up into my sinuses and came out my nostrils. Good times. At least I won at poker. Ace-high straight, baby. Thanks again for the beer, Kev.


Bizarro Oscar Wilde

In the Venture Bros Season 1 DVD, there's a deleted scene from "The Trial Of the Monarch," my favorite episode of the season. While on trial, the judge tries to impress upon The Monarch that he's under trial by a jury of his peers. "PEERS!!!" yells The Monarch. He them proceeds to irately give a jury-long list of his peers to the judge.

A list of my peers would read as follows!!:

Flying Squid & Tiger-rific
Lord Mostly Magic
King Fantastic Outfit
Fee Waiver of the Tubes
Suicide Girl Keegan
Bill "Superfoot" Wallace
Happy-Go-Chucky & Swiss Mystery
Shaka Igloo
And my Eighth Grade Earth Science Teacher, Mr. Tringe!

Oh, and Bizarro Oscar Wilde as an alternate.

"Bizarro Oscar Wilde." Dammit, I wish they had left this scene in.


HoX Beer Review #8: Reaper Redemption Red Ale

Reaper Redemption Red Ale, ReaperAle.com

Tonight is a good night. For dinner, I chose In & Out, a California original. To pair with my 3x3 and fries, The Big Lebowski on DVD created and filmed in LA, and Reaper Ale's Redemption Red Ale, made in Vista, CA. When I saw this one on the shelf, the huge Grim Reaper caught my eye. Then when I saw it's a California beer, I had to buy it (at a price point of $3.29 @ BevMo). I haven't done a local beer yet, and it's time to give my favorite place in the world it's fair shake.

Made in Vista, CA, (70 miles south of my place, on Hwy 78 between I-5 & I-15) the Reaper brewery makes only ales... except for their Mortality Stout, but that's another review. The Redemption Red Ale is deep red in color. It's strikingly red. Not cloudy. Just a beautiful sea of red between you and whatever's on the other side of your glass.

My first glass begins with a thick, tan head. And it holds a head well. It's got this pungent, sweet hop bouquet in the nose, then the deep hops and caramel on the palate. The aromatics of this beer are incredible immediately go bitter. If you're not into bitter beers, stay away from the Reaper, you baby. If bitter's your thing, go out tomorrow and buy this beer. Show your taste buds who's boss by kicking them in the balls.

I'm on my second glass, and it's even better than the first. This ale is rich, flavorful, and bold. The facets of this beer are what make it worth drinking: The bold aroma, the strong hop flavor, and the aftertaste of spice and bitter. This ale is aggressive. No mistake. It's not your dad's foil-capped pilsner. It has bite, and it bites you hard. Two minutes after a pull, I can still taste it, and it's calling me back for more. This beer is the reason why I started doing these reviews.

1.0 is perfect in each category,
0.1 is the complete opposite of perfect.
Use your imagination for everything between.
The perfect beer would be scored "4.0/4"

Reaper Redemption Red Ale

Appearance: 1.0

Aroma: 1.0

Taste: .9

Mouthfeel: .9



Which Colossal Death Robot Am I?

Can it, you're Bender!

In the robot world, you are a bit of a lightweight in the colossal death league, but you do mutter "kill all humans" in your sleep - and after all, it's the thought that counts. We love you because you drink, steal, smoke cigars and gamble away things that aren't even yours. You've got what it takes. You're the right stuff.

Tell the world you're the Homer Simpson of the future with the following picture:

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey