The Wall

This semester has been a constant battle with hitting the wall. Last week, I nearly fell asleep in class. Today, I had a conducting exam that I didn't think I was prepared for. Conducting exams involve acting as the conductor for the class ensemble, +/- 20 people. When the first person went up, I saw he didn't have his score. For those who don't know, the score is the music the only conductor uses, that has the part for everybody in the ensemble, where individuals read individual parts. It's like... I dunno. I'd have to show you. Anyway, I didn't know our exam was from memory, so I was freakin' out. I volunteered after the first 7 people or so. I flew by the seat of my pants. I think I made a few little mistakes, but no egregious errors. I feel like I got an 'A.' When I was done, I was jittery, shaking, flush, all of it. I was more tense than when I was actually in front of the class. I had an epiphany as to why smokers "need" to smoke after something stressful. I felt like I needed one. I get this way at work, after a couple hours on the line when it's busy. Today, I got that worked up in about five minutes of conducting. I gotta start bringing my pipe to school... not that I have that much free time.

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